Dealing With Shit Relationships Tests

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  13. In my early 20's I remember the contradiction of being influenced yet confused about this equality concept. On one hand, I understood and accepted the fairness it proposed but on the other hand, somehow my own biology rebelled against it and I against biology. I felt an uncomfortable split between my dominant biological urges and intellectual reasoning. In my case, intellect always won but at the expense of feeling dishonest with myself and others. I observed how somehow real behavior didn't match with the words.
  15. An example of this took place one day in a film theory class I was taking. I had been assigned to a group and our mission was to re-edit one of Orson Welles's films. We had to discuss different ways of telling the story. I don't remember what exactly happened that triggered a nasty argument among ourselves which only escalated by the minute. What I never forgot is that I was furious and this petite yet highly spirited Spanish girl who got angry with me as well. In desperation she blurted out, “Why don't you hit me!” And she kept pushing and pushing me with insults and daring me to do something to her. I was really struck by her aggresive attitude and my own barbaric behavior. The following day, feeling embarrassed I thought I do what every rational, decent person might do, which is: apologize. Again I was surprised, the Spanish girl just smiled and said, “Apolize for what? You were right.” She then went on to support me without any hesitation, always with a big smile. Before this incident, she never even said hello to me. I acted like a barbarian and she was all smiles.
  17. At the time, I didn't really understand all the undercurrents that were going on. Whatever I managed to digest at the time was counteracted by very radical feminist views from the professors. I remember one young, attractive Sociology professor simply say, “Men must liberate themselves from their manhood because it oppresses them just as much as it does women” If men liberate themselves from their manhood and women liberate themselves from their femininity, then as humans what do we become? We have created a society filled with drastically and disturbingly mixed messages regaring the sexes and this in part is responsible for the anxiety, stress and schizoid behavior we are living through. It therefore leads to a more profound question: Is this definition of equality worth sustaining?
  19. Submitted by Davane on Sun, 28/03/2004 - 03:29. Login or register to post comments
  20. Equality Works
  21. Equality works just fine when people don't keep scrabbling for the top position. It doesn't mean everyone has to be the same all the time. It doesn't mean there can't be some division of labor in a relationship. But, it's perfectly possible to have a good relationship without one person being in charge. Equality to me means no one person gets the final say all the time. It means that can shift depending on the issue, depending on who has more expertise on a particular topic, or who has more at stake. I don't see why that's a difficult way of handling a relationship.

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