In today's world, online dating is more common than meeting someone in person in a casual setting, in a group or at a bar. It's the new hangout, but online dating rules can be a little different. Now, my friends ask me to help them with online dating. I'm not ready to offer this service to my coaching clients yet, but I did decide to write about what I've learned to help people approach it safely. The most important thing to tackle if you're a complete newbie is how to BE SAFE as you begin your quest for love. Don't use your real name or anything that gives away your identity. But think about it this way. What if someone interested in you is a little bit on the creepy side, or there's someone you've had to block from contacting you. Do you really want them to have your name, the kind of work you do, and the area you live in usually mandatory in your profile to make it easier for them to find you? Set a limit on how long you'll stick to online communication. If you're both interested, try to meet in person a soon as possible. If you're both local, try not to let more than a few weeks go by before meeting. And, if you're out of state or out of country, try not to let more than a couple of months pass. Meeting in 3D brings a whole different aspect to a budding relationship and let's you know if you want to continue to invest in it. Don't share too much too soon. Don't share private information right away your address, where you work, kind of car you drive, how much money you make, where you live, etc. I know, I know — he or she may seem wonderful, you may have gone from online flirting to talking on the phone, but be cautious until you really get to know the person and find out what their true intentions are. As wonderful as online dating is, there are also scammers who have perfected their style to maneuver people into divulging personal information. Share your phone number only when you're ready. If you want to talk to someone, many sites have masked phoning built into their system, which allows you to call through the dating site with an anonymous number, but still talk to prospective dates. If you're on a site that doesn't, you can always make a Google Voice phone number for free that rings directly to whatever phone you want it to. This way, you can keep your phone number and personal information people can find with it anonymous until YOU'RE ready to share more. Remember, the other person isn't real until you meet him or her. As amazing as the profile, pic, and conversation may be, remember that this person isn't truly real until you meet them. Let someone know where you're going. You don't have to broadcast to the world that you're going on a date with someone you met online, but you should have at least one good friend who knows what's going on, where you're going, and with whom you're meeting. That way, if something unexpected does happen, they know how to reach you, where to look and what's going on. You never know who you're really meeting, and most of the time it's going to be just fine — but it's always good to be safe. Make initial dates short. Coffee or happy hour work great. That way you both can determine if you like each other, and if so can choose to continue and make the date longer if you like. If not, the expectation has been set that it's a short time, and you can graciously walk away without being tied to a show, dinner, or a movie. Don't ignore red flags. If you notice even YELLOW flags, pay attention and don't make excuses for them. Yes, I KNOW their piercing blue eyes are phenomenal — but it's character that counts! Set your standards and limits ahead of time. Decide how you want to be treated, what you're willing and want to do on your first and future dates. That way you won't find yourself in a dilemma where you're trying to figure out your boundaries on the spot. You'll already have them set. Don't say you like hiking if you've never gone or haven't hiked in 20 years. If you LOVE working on cars and are a woman, say it! If you're a man and love gardening, say it! Here's the deal, you don't want someone to meet you thinking that you are someone you're really not — and of course, you wouldn't want someone to do that to you. If you're looking for something REAL, then BE REAL. You can't expect to find a lasting, loving relationship with trust and honesty unless you're honest about who you are. I personally know several people who have met and married from meeting online. So have fun, be real, flirt a little, but be safe. It just might end in love!