May 20, 2016 - I am a newly divorced single woman over 50. We got married, we had kids, we grew apart. We have been divorced for 2 years and although it saddens me that my family has been broken apart, I am happy that my ex and I have have managed to be civil enough to make it okay for the kids. What I find most interesting at this point is the whole dating scene. There is such a difference between what is available for men and woman. Here is what I have found: For single men the options are plentiful. We have all heard about how easy it is for a man to start dating in his fifties and how there are plenty of women to choose from. Their desire to be with men 15-20 years their senior means they are looking for someone to take care of them both financially and personally. Be cautious men, these women are looking for you to do it all over again and that means house and children. They are raising small kids and are looking for someone to be a partner. Yes they do want you to help raise their kids and do it all over again. If you have money, well that just makes you more attractive. They know who they are and why their marriage failed and are looking for pure companionship. Rather they will be someone who will have realistic expectations of you and be accepting of who you are at this time of your life. They will want to grow old with you and have an age appropriate relationship with you. From my experience there are few men who are looking to date their contemporaries. The thrill and excitement of a younger woman is so compelling. Those rare gems who value women with age and experience are just that — rare! So I will wait and not settle. I am confident that my soul mate is out there. Someone who will appreciate what my age and wisdom brings to the partnership. Linda, 53 For all Divorce Support Visit: kitty Feeling good about yourself is really the most important thing, because you are probably going to be alone if you find yourself alone at 50. The stats are frightening — 12% of single women 50-60 find sexual partners — it goes down to 4% at 60. We can all be positive and optimistic , but psychologists suggest practicing alternative forms of sexuality and some openly advocate partner sharing. Finding a non-sexual partner seems to be less of a problem, a lot of nice men suffer from erectile dis-function and might welcome an older partner. The most important ties to make after 50 if you are alone, are meaningful friendships. These need to be nurtured because chances are there will not be a partner to usher you into old age, and community is probably the most important aspect of successful aging. I am 62 and i hooked up with an old man friend from the past who is 64 after a few get together s i was curious to see what this old stallion was about at this age AND what a shocker he had a major erectile dysfunction that is not only embarrassing for him but for me as well. So when women over 60 wonder why its hard to find a man THEY are at a bar drinking. Most men are not interested in seeing a Doctor to get that fixed. I told my man friend to do that and he looked at me like i insulted him. Dude get that fixed if you want to have fun!! Then you get the men who are in denial with their soft performing noodle. If a man over 60 is not going to perform with a good hard on dont bother! SO the really good looking older men 50 and over with money will pay for Viagra to get a hard manhood and may seek younger women, I am attractive at 62, i like to dress colorful, i color my hair i never had kids and have been single most of my life and i love that independence. I love my own company and I love to have fun. I still listen to Led Zeppelin and Steely Dan. I am a loner because most of my friends are acting like Grandmas now and i dont have anything in common with them so i have fun traveling alone and meeting people. I go to Vegas alone 4 times a year and have a blast!! Someday i might hook up with a man who is like me and we can grow older together but i dont wish it or look for it life is too short wasting on the next man LOL LOL. And im pretty with long blonde hair. I did find a guy this year. He knew I have a high sex drive. Said he wanted to be friends first and I bought it. Bottom line he is 58 and so broken Viagra won t work only surgery or a pump. He hide this and his tiny tiny tiny penis from me knowing all the while his secret and leading me on telling me about the great sex life we were going to have. I feel like goldilocks. Where is the happy medium lol. I live in Tigard Oregon. I am now 56. Been dating for 15 years since my divorce. I have had around 6 relationships since divorce. With the exception of one woman that was close to my She, all of them are younger then me by anywhere from 8 to 25 years. Arm candy and dependency. Had I had the chance to do it all again… I would of followed a different path. As I write this I have a 25 year old model in my bed wondering how to get her out nicely. As I get really old I wonder what I am doing. I feel almost embarrassed by my choices in life. I just truly believe that sex is what bonds two people together and differentiates between a friendship and a real marriage. Its just a fact that women over 50 are not that interested in sex, as a rule. Honestly people, go to gym, workout. Lose that 90 lbs you think is is only 15lbs and you will see that people instantly go out with you. Its just how we animals are…… Stop deluding yourself and complaing and do the hard work in life to make yourself attractive and happy person. The world we live in is constantly advertising what makes people happy and successful. It took me a very long time to stop listening to what the outside world was saying that creates happiness and listen to my heart. While going through my divorce I did not date, instead I used this time to get to know me again , my likes and needs. I am truly happy where I am with my life and if I find someone they will just add to my happiness. There will be time all you will require is a real connection and ability to work on a certain matured level of thinking and so on. Seriously I have never tried dating a younger person, never seen it as an option. From what I have found with the men in my group 40 and below is they really just want to have a conversation where there is no drama and judging. It is hard for men to be themselves I think because a few women in their past who must have raked them over the coals for something they did or said. I have been in situations where I could see the line blurring but that is where it stopped. He is retired, I am not. I have at least another 10 years to work which would put me at 67 before I retire. I have always pictured myself after retirement travelling around the country with my trailer for a month or two at a time. That would put this nice man at aged 77. I really do not want to spend my retirement possibly nursing someone or leaving them behind because they cannot keep up. I think he wants more than just friends from our relationship. On another note I was reading another site that was telling its readers the ideal age difference for when dating. It went like this: Take your age, divide by 2 then add seven. So I did this and came up with 35 years old would be the ideal age of my date. I am 57 years old. I then realized I was reading an article geared towards men. Are you freaking kidding me I thought. So that would mean I as a female should be dating someone that is 100 years old according to this article. Fucking a 25 year old is just fucking. Sorry that happened to you. There were so many people i know who ended up getting divorces at your age because of cheating. Mostly the male partner cheated but in some cases it was the woman. I feel like when we reach 50, it is a time for change kind of a shake up time. Time to get rid of friends who do no help us in life. Maybe changing things about ourselves or changing our profession. Some people use this time of upheaval to get better like eating better or getting rid of what is not serving us. Now the other half decide to have a mid life crisis. They try to cling to their youth or they fill like they have missed out on something or they think that their spouse no longer is what they want. As weird as it sounds, try not to take what your husband did personal. Of course, it is personal but when he did that he was only thinking of himself. It had nothing to do with how pretty you are or how valuable you are but he went his base urges. Not a younger woman but in his mind a woman of more status. When she confronted him on the cheating he threw it back on her like you are fat etc. She was 52 at the time. She ended leaving him and really had no shortage of men who came her way. Right after she left him she ended up having a short fling with a 32 year old which started out as a hook up kind of thing but he ended up sort of learning some grown up skills from her. She was really embarrassed about the relationship because of the age difference but I told her know ones cares. It is remarkably common. Most likely you will need a bit of therapy to get over the betrayal and a good divorce support group might help. You might look at a site called Meetup. It is not a singles site but an interest meetup site. Everything from knitting to dancing meetups. I joke that you could probably find a meetup on there for tearing paper because there are so many types of meetups and you can even start your own. No one is to support, no one is to guide, or even to listen…. We probably all need to feel loved a appreciated by someone whether it is someone our age or someone younger or even older. I can be attracted to someone younger than me or someone close to my age or older if the chemistry is right but I want it to be real not just about sex. I know when I was young the driving factor was someone that appealed to me but might not have been serious about a relationship but I passed through that period and wanted a serious meaningful union. I remember while on a business trip I had a encounter with an attractive woman who wanted to be more than friends. I had two children so we attempted to get beyond this but she ended up leaving after 27 yeas of marriage. I really want to have a loving connection with the person I am involved with. I might be able to have that connection with a much younger person but I know that is not practical. I think a connection with someone a little younger, my age or even older is more realistic. I still see my ex at family functions and she has remarried. Maybe she found what she had was a lot better than she realized. Any way this is my opinion a sexual connection with a woman. And this may come as a shock but you do have many beautiful women yr age who could make yr heart skip a beat. So good luck and remember we do exist. Beauty is from the inside and shines on the outside. I did not date through separation, the divorce process or after divorce…. Greg Stewart, Concord, Ca. The timing of these things is not always our timing. Just keep on keeping on, have faith, and continue to pursue activities that have meaning for you. You will meet someone when you least expect it. I have so much MORE to offer at 53 thatn i did at 33…. I left a totally dysunctional relationship i tried to keep going for 8 yrs. And he is clean to boot. Signed up on eharmony…. I swore in my 30s…i will never be one of those sad 50somethings looking for a guy….. And i feel foolish doing it! My sisters husband of 23yrs dumped her for someone 3 yrs older than their daughter…. That was 15 yrs ago and she never found anyone after that. So to answer your question….. My dad is a very supportive and loving father and he is my best friend. Everyone deserve a chance to show who they are and be appreciated despite their age. Celine dion and her husband had a beautiful marriage despite their age difference,marriage is about people and how much they are willing to commit to each other not about age. There are a lot of lovely ladies of different age group out there,spread your wings,get to know people. You may never know where you might end up finding ur happiness. As for me and my partner we are going to have children together within the next two years,he is a great father to his children so I have no doubt he will be a good father and he is going to make an incredible,extraordinary,super excellent husband. I am a fun loving man, jovial, lovely and passionate. I think of myself as being clever but harmless. I am supporting, caring and have a loyal and tolerant character, humble, honest, understanding and truthful. The stories have replayed over the years, and I have come to question if I am ever to find a partner to grow old with, as it seems that I am already doing that! But for a marriage that ended in tears, it had many good years that unfortunately could not be salvaged. I still believe in marriage and believe that men and women are meant to live in harmonious relationships. Best of luck to you on finding someone with whom to share your life! I seem to attract the kind of guy that likes my free-spiritedness yet are often the types to start clipping my wings as soon as my attention is elsewhere. I never ever thought ageism would be an issue, I thought it was an imagined thing. I still believe, however, in my weird optimism that out there is someone for me…someone at a similar age who can appreciate me and whom I can appreciate. Thanks Linda for this article. Brilliant and I can relate so much to you. Women when they get older start to lose what men are attracted to. If men are not physically attracted to you then they will not pursue you. I not talking really young but maybe mid to late 40s or early 50s. I do believe there are men out there who are more easy going even in their 50s+. My dad was that way. And even if you find someone that wants to date you , after one date they already start implying sexual stuff. I will need to develop feelings for you. Is that too much to ask for? To have feelings before you get all touchy feely with me? I picked men that were wrong for me. My fault but as soon as I shared poof! I am fit,attractive, employed,debt free, own my home, and am making it despite no child support. I have 2 great teens that will soon be gone. I am a stable person that was desperate for a family and married for that. No one will touch me. I figure if God wants me in a relationship he will plant a man in front of me. I just wish my life had turned out differently. We are talking about people over 50, whose bodies are way different than they were 20 years ago. When women say that they are fit and attractive but they are not looking for the same in men, they still send the same message. There is nothing wrong with looking for the best fit and attractive guys but with age the odds are getting drastically smaller for you. In this age group, I see way more overweight women than men and this is very unattractive. Most or maybe all who chat me up look like guys, seriously. Young women tend to be much slimmer, sex with them is on a totally different level. Plus they like or at least are not afraid of showing their bodies. After that comes personality, but this is another subject. Why is it hard to connect to good souls? I am 71, in good health, intelligent, interested in all things related to humans, caring, want a final life partner to talk with about life, enjoy activities together, travel some, enjoy family gatherings. I want to do good things for good causes and contribute my little bit to a better world. I was in business and retired into charitable work and family, separated in Dec 2017, have an 8 year old son that I love dearly, unfortunately mom moved him north and we see each other Sundays and connect on phone two evenings a week. Not sure how access will be increased as she is unwilling to do so as she wants to raise him in her religion which is different than mine. Anyway, I hope to be back enjoying my self with a woman in the not to distant future, we can talk on phone if you like or by email so we can exchange photos. My ex-wife 20 yr marriage celebrated turning 50 with several brief affairs, never ever dreaming I would find out. So where are all the single, fit, 50-something women? What am I missing? If not a dating site…then how do people like us meet? I know a few that do this and when I ask them out, they look at me like I had two heads. They go through more drastic changes than men do at this age. So in many cases it can be understood. The problem is that when they do go out or advertise themselves online, they rather go for a brief encounter with a decent guys instead of a matching ones. I know those, too. My guess is that they are still dreaming about that prince, like little girls, hoping that an awesome guy will fall in love with them. Well, women are more emotional, not as rational as men so this also should be understood. I get hits from women older than me, even 10 years older! What are they thinking? They look like my mother. The luckiest guys over 50 are those who enjoy sex with older, overweight women and have enough energy to go to gym regularly. I have a couple of good friends like this, so I tried that too. In my experience, personal hygiene was in par with their weight. Well, this also should be excused because it is harder to keep large body clean than the tiny one, especially in hard to reach areas. I hope it answers your question. Never thought about the smelly part. After being there for him through drug rehab and all his other addictions; my 58 year old ex told me he was going to go find a BBW that has a secure job and can take care of him and all he has to do is service her once in awhile. What type of fridged and cold woman do you end up with. I am appreciative of the feedback although it is a little brutal. Just your normal everyday wtf insecurity stuff. I have no idea what my future holds. I am a bit terrified. I never thought this was going to be it. My family was forever, I believed that. Regardless, to the guys contributing, thanks for your two cents. It is much appreciated. Wish you all the best in finding your happily ever after. But I my experiences were that men wanted me to put my faith into them, yet they really werent there for me. Now I just want to make more money for my older needs as I never found Mr. Men are not wild about women with a child from a difficult ex They dont want problems so theyll just get out of it w young woman. We had a failure in communication that seemed to start breaking down as the kids were leaving for college. There have been wonderful happy times raising three gorgeous children, 2 in college 1 in mid teens, all seem to be happily adjusted life is good. However, about 5 years ago I discovered with her help a little problem in my family called alcoholism and cleaned up my act many years ago and got sober. However she continued to drink. This was, I believe, part of the problem…. I love you …go away! They will need me. However these types of relationships are very destructive to us and is modeled by our children. So the behavior might not be of a psycho it might be behavior modeled after our parents! Give us a break! The group is called Adult Children of Alcoholics, ACA. It also includes people who were raised in other types of dysfunctional families. They tend to be very responsible and take very good care of others which helps create the delusion that everything is normal but we guess at normal. Many of us live in denial about this thinking that our parents were wonderful role models for how to love our partners… stop and think how many times did you see your mother and father hugging? How many times do you remember your mother hugging you? Those were two very eye-opening questions for me. Women do seem to make more of the mans looks rather than anything else. I have much better things to do with my time than waste it with little chance of success. I have been were you are. It would be nice to meet someone who is honest, looking for someone their age not 20 years younger. I usually start my profile letting men my age know I am disabled with MS. Does not stop me from living, things just take longer. My favorite is the Blues and always rock and roll. My life did a 180 I like to say but as I have been told I have lived all ready for 3 people. Things have changed for me but I am still going to live just not enough for 3. Not much of a TV person but I keep watching MASH. I am in the Boston area. Maybe a bit of a chat….. It is insane to think otherwise. Consider a few facts: 1. Women have the ability to go out an any given night and be outnumbered 3 to 1 by men. Men are looking for someone to just acknowledge them. Women file for divorce over 80% of the time. Does anyone really believe that men are not the most docile people in the ordinary family. Consider the body differences ovulation and PMS and just consider how often women are friends with other women. Men have friends from childhood. Women rule the world and it is not pretty behind closed doors. Case in point why men are looking for younger women. That means emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical. I have nothing against sex and I feel it is an important part of a successful loving relationship. She is still quite beautiful at 70 and is newly divorced. She told me that her husband has ED problems and has for years. The last time I talked to her she was thrilled at how many young men were wanting to date her. She is still quite sexual and has had several men much younger, says she feels like 30 again. As much as I still enjoy sex at 50, for me sex is a special act, sacred even, shared between two people who really care about each other. I think it is the most precious gift you can give another person. Those are just my standards. There are many women in other cultures who do not have sex before marriage and they expect to be seriously pursued by men who are capable of supporting then as well as their families on certain cases and it end up producing very long-term and successful marriages. Maybe American women should study the other cultures too see if any of their practices would work for them. That makes us all feel so much better. Yes freindships are important but to say that the chances of finding someone are THAT bleak is just mean. I have friends and coworkers dating women from online websites, casual encounters, everything. And I never saw a guys over 50 with women 20 years younger. Except celebrities who can really do it, all talk about guys preference to date women the age of their daughters is just a cliche. Not true at all. I see this repeated on this website many times and I wonder where it comes from. This is just a BS. Sometimes, but very very rarely I see a woman 10-15 years younger married to a 50+ guy but only when she really needs the stable life and support. They ALL come with children and usually they are from different countries so they also upgrade the lifestyle for their children. That is my experience. Everyday Joe gets anything he can put his hands on to save money on massage with happy ending. Old, overweight, dressed up as men, with bad hygiene and horrible attitudes, full of baggage from previous marriages. These guys hope for the best, do their best, try very hard, and eventually run away from them. Usually the next morning. I see this happening over and over again. It happened to me, too. This is definitely a generational thing…and my generation just did not produce great relational partners. We are the transitional generation. The peanutbutter between the baby boomers and turn of the century kids. We got the shaft being middle kids. Initially when I became single again I gave those men attention, after few dates I found them extremely boring. I simply ignore the attention they give me. Since my separation I had many accomplishments at work and i rebuild my social life as a single woman with many friends. Some nights I wish I had a great partner but I am not willing to waste my time looking for him. I am very happy being single. I know I will continue to have great accomplishments with or without a man in my life. When I think of all the things that I want to do, I left with no time for a man. I have a son who I have great relationship with. We reads books together and we are interested in the same issues. He gives me great support for all my work accomplishments. When he will leave the nest I probably will feel lonely, but I will not waste my time looking for a man, because the selection is….. You have to remember that this time what you are looking for is not clear. The first time you wanted husband house and kids. The second time the wants are not that clear and therefore more difficult to find. Also you have to remember that we live in a disposable society if something is not quite right about someone we simply dump him. That makes it more difficult to get to know people. The question will be if you will do something about him or simply let him go. Thank you for your kind words. It is simple, really. Sounds like there is not enough love in the world. I like spreading some around in the hopes that one day I will find a nice man to spend my life with who will love me back. It is said that what you put out into the world will come back to you. I am also 53 and not quite 7 years divorced. And I suspect that women feel the same way but am not sure so I am asking here. The eldest with her boyfriend of 11 years. From time to time they join us for dinners or game nights or just to watch a movie. I view my job at this stage, being to help my three kids save for their first houses. I derive a lot of pleasure out of sharing my time with five very fine young men and women whom I am proud to call family. I wonder though if women feel a sense of freedom at a different stage in parenting or age presumably of their youngest child than a man does. Is it when your child finishes high school, graduates university, gets that first job, moves out of the family house, gets married, has a child of their own? I know that a parent is always bonded to their children and suspect that bond is maybe stronger for a mother than for a father, but at what stage do you reckon a single mother feels free of her parenting responsibility? Some weeks I have slackers for varying reasons but on balance they do what is expected of them — they are good house mates! They are a pleasure to be around and not a burden even though I sometimes get ticked off when I feel one of them is not pulling their weight as they ought to. For me that sense of freedom came around about the time that my youngest explained his strategy for completing his undergraduate, masters, PhD course of study. He put my mind at ease that although his timetable is not the timetable I would have chosen at the same age it is what he is comfortable with and what he is confident about. I know that he will land on his feet even if he encounters a setback. I have a 22 year old son at Uof I and a daughter who is a senior in H. Still deciding on colleges. I devoted my life to my children, and have no regrets. It is time for me. What do I need? Hugs, physical touch, someone to touch in the night, it is a very lonely place without the very thing many of us divorced people took for granted. You cannot buy genuine intimacy, that must come from give and take. So yes, I have the career, the stability, the grown children, but I would be at my finest with a friend and lover beside me, a strong man. Now I want to be your loving companion and friend and live with you in harmony, love, understanding, and just being there for you to hold you tight and embrace you on all your lonely nights! I have ALWAYS been independent from a young age …I WAS a planner….. I graduated at 17, met my husband…. I continued to do what I call all of the mom things and loved doing those things……watching her cheer…. AM HONESTLY CURIOUS WHY A WOMAN WOULD NEED A MAN….. After divorce, some strange realizations are surely in store for both sexes. One is how much your dating pool has shrunk since you were last looking for love. Another is how poorly most Americans have been taking care of themselves. Unlike most I think people dating after 40, I set about educating myself thoroughly about how attraction is created in both sexes, so as to put my very best self forward. This gave me a stronger sense of self, a stronger sense of masculinity and how to express it, and a stronger sense of where women are coming from and the cues they naturally give us. What continues to surprise me is what little effort is put forth in general by the age appropriate women, in all venues combined, to meet. An attractive woman in her 20s may sit coyly and bat her eyes, and merely select her choice of suitor from the ensuing male attention. But what are the 40s and 50s women thinking? In my experience, she is not putting herself out there. Perhaps her excuses have become self-fulfilling. But why should I give up? It could be that women in their 40s and 50s are lost in finding their role in this new age of dating. What do you think? Just look up marriage statistics provided by the census. Once women hit 50 they outnumber men and it gets progressively worse each passing year. In the USA there are 20-25% more unmarried women than unmarried men in their 50s. At 60 that % increases to 100 ie. So if a women thinks sitting around waiting for prince charming is a good strategy, time is not your friend, so good luck with that! I have kept in shape and work and looking good and being kind and interesting, positive not jaded. In the real world and online, I have men from mid 40s onward interested. Most are around my age. I haven found the right one yet, but I see a lot of similar ages people getting together even though men and some women dream about getting someone much younger. And just a thought of being together with a man 10-15 + years older seems little too much!! You will find someone if you stay positive and take good care of yourself. He is remarried to a lovely younger woman and their family has now grown to four children. I think the odds are in your favor but you have to stay positive, be a good companion and have a sense of humor. It is obvious you succeeded before and you will again…age is only a number. Thats a category of people I know for women, myself included. Not everyone wants kids. Not all women get married either. I am perfectly happy as is. You want someone who cares about you, not who sees you as an accessory. Can we all finally agree men are fundamentally defective? Sounds like even more fun. After everything Ive done, succeeded at and been through thats my value? Paying to be a nanny. Any wonder the world is in such a mess. Looking around women are doing pretty well for themselves without the guys, and the guys are a train wreck. No it means even good men have to make compromises because so many of us girls have got jack of it all and taken ourselves off the market to focus on things that unlike dating are rewarding. Considering globalization, immigration, the rising 3rd world and how the favouring of boy babies in some cultures has left their population short of women it may even swing the other way for the following generatons. I already know women my age and older who have married well educated, attractive and well rounded Asian and Indian men and they are very happy. A few have married younger men as well with the same result, those men seem to try more to make a good relationship. Apparently, you were the leavee and not the leaver in your marriage. I was also the leavee and did not want a divorce, nor believe that God would support the dissou lution of the marriage of 33 years that only he could have orchestrated from the beginning. I feel like you need to further examine your attitude moving forward. If not, you have a high probability of your life ending single and alone. Make no mistake about it. Your right about one thing though: There are not a lot of good men out there in the 50 plus population. I would like to think I can still find love again at any age. Kids are grown and married, so I only have myself to take. Would you like to meet me? Its still hard to find a country guy, not just a booty call. Im lookin for dailey companion for long term say 35 yrs plus. It is no wonder that women who have witnessed these delusional types has no respect towards men in general and keep spreading that bad reputation..! Thinking maybe I should just dump him. I may have more confidence single. Being with someone makes me feel insecure… I want to be free, confident, happy, and proud. An article in the Huffpost even went so far as to encourage women to go after much younger men, can you imagine if someone wrote an article like that encouraging 50yo men to go after 20something women? That author would be attacked immediately. This is coming from a younger woman who accidently stumbled upon this site. Not even short term in most instances. A lot of older men do not have their stuff together as they should. Even the ones who have it together financially seems not to have anything else to offer other than that. I will pass on the older guy as he really, really needs to start looking at women his own age. There is nothing worse than a 50s, 60s, and 70s yo male chasing a woman in her 30s. No daddy issues on this end, guys from 30 to 45 only. At one time I had no less than 15 male friends between ages of 44-56 in my phone. Some I met personally…some on dating site…others school mates. All very interested in having a serious relationship. Me being a gemini and freshly out of a 22 yr marriage is in no hurry for anything serious. The key ladies is having self confidence in yourself. Then again I look nowhere near 51…I look no older than 35. Good genes runs in my family I guess. So ladies…like a gentleman told me. Never step out of the house without looking your best because you never know who you might meet. It means looking as SEXY and attractive as possible. I dated attractive women a few years either side of my age. I found my wonderful gsl. I love her to pieces. We are attracted to fit, good looking females. That is a given. I really dont care about your successes in life, where you have travelled, etc. Someone who has enthusiasm in life and has energy. I expect that shewill get a bit of a thrill from it. I spend a good chunk of my life being respondible. Never been out of shape. She can be my wife, partner, etc. How very well thought out, and presented. Maybe we all get too serious as we get older? All very interested in having a serious relationship. I must be one of those rare men because I find women in their 50s mentally stimulating therefore attractive. Once I can end my marriage I most likely will not date a woman younger than in her late 40s. Older women, for the most part, have life experience and know what they want. The maturity they bring with them is what I seek. They compliment my desire to grow and be a wiser man than I was yesterday. They offer so much outside of the bedroom which makes the whole relationship to be built on more solid grounds. I am fit and attractive but I would never be fooled by the beauty without maturity which is something many young women lack. For the time being I just have to be patient until the time is right. I am 62 and separated. One shoe really does not fit all. After 8 months I am finally at the stage where I accept my life going forward is going to be vastly different. And that is it, just different not better not worse only different. It is totally up to me to live my life happily. Whether I will ever share my life again with someone is not really a concern of mine. If it happens fine, if not fine too. I was always independent and will continue to remain independent. Each new person I meet has something new to offer. I am not bitter, I feel for my ex-husband who now sports a tattoo. Kind of sad when you still have to find yourself over 60. Life has a lot to offer and I plan to take full advantage of it. Life is good, whether you are 30,40,50 or 60+ just adapt your outlook on life. But never ever become defeated or bitter. I am having a hard time meeting men my age who are interested in women my age, as the author states. I am in therapy. I see so many woman over 40 who are smart, attractive, well-educated, successful, emotionally mature, financially solvent, and have great personalities, but who get involved with men who have few or none of these qualities, or who treat them terribly. It seems like these women feel that at least this is better than being alone. It seems logical, and research has showed that a large percentage of women are bisexual to some degree. It may be a challenging adjustment after a lifetime of heterosexuality, but to me it seems worth it for women to be able to get a higher quality partner. There have been reports that there is indeed an increasing trend for women to switch to same-sex relationships in midlife, and I hope it continues to grow! It seems to me that this would solve most of the problem. There years ago I became single, I had this woman around my age who was very keen to go out with me. I told her Ilike her but I have one rule, that is we split the bill on the first date. For the next few weeks she was still hinting she like me but she would not bend on her sexist issue of self entitlement. I would never go out with an old woman again, they are to sexist. It may be a little old fashioned, but I prefer the original method of courtship. Nothing wrong with a little chivalry, even in this day and age. Kudos to you, Skip! It is NOT about age, or bill, or sexism — it is EVERYTHING about your expectations, manners ad values!! Life is good, whether you are 30,40,50 or 60+ just adapt your outlook on life. But never ever become defeated or bitter. BTW — I am in shape and do consider myself attractive — but I do not think being attractive and in shape defines me? You have to reach for the best in life for YOU! I am in my 50s, divorced a few. Been told I look a bit like Tony danza. Super spiritual and pretty much have my act together. Is there even such a thing? I just really miss intimacy and male companionship. When you meet a good, kind man who has a sense of humor, life can be a lot of fun. Being with someone spiritual is even more icing on the cake for me because I am very spiritual myself. It will happen when the time is right. I hope you find what you are looking for! I spent 18 really terrible years married to a real harpie. I was her second husband. Even my mother-in-law and brother-in-law apologized to me on a nearly continuous basis for the way she treated me. My attorney asked me how in the world I was able to hang in there until my children were old enough to decide who they wished to live with. He asked what the hell that was, that he needed some. The oldest woman was 58, and the youngest 28. An attorney, a banker, a respiratory therapist, computer programmer, graphic artist, dancers not ballet. I was semi-engaged three separate times…and called it off. Drama, stress and expense. Women, in my experience, want to run the relationship. Of course, relationships require compromise at times, that goes without saying. Nor do we want a Stepford Wife. I guess I value peace of mind and peace and quiet more than a piece of anything else. Sure, it gets lonely sometimes, but all I have to do is think about how married life was, and I suddenly feel pretty damn good! Just got busy as well as tired of it all like many of you. Now, at 50, I want to get back on the horse and try again but am fully aware that a man who has never been married and has no kids probably gives me about a. I am extrememly fit, active, and my friends all say that I am a really good man. I have dated many wonderful women in my life that wanted to settle down with me but frankly, I was too stupid. Complimenting someone on how they look is now offensive, striking up a conversation with someone in public is unheard of, and my favorite…. Wow, we have actually let all this happen to us. We should all be ashamed. I believe a lot of people have a hard wake up call coming in their later lives! I had to go years of being single focusing on other things to realize this. Ladies, there are a LOT of good men out there and everything they say is not wrong. Gentlemen, there are a LOT of great women out there who are not man haters. Expectations have become impossible for anyone to live up to. An easier way is obviously just a swipe away, right!? Oh wait, its already there: If we all just and I realize how silly this is to say as I type it get back to respecting each other and appreciating what each gender has to offer, we might have a chance at NOT becoming the most disconnected culture on earth. I leave you with this: Think of the times you felt that utter sense of pure giddiness and joy…. Was it after you bought that super cool sportscar? Or maybe it was when you finally got your degree at 47? It gives me hope. I too just turned 50. I would love a relationship again. I went through a painful divorce 7 yrs ago I did not want after a 19 yr relationship. I then met a nice man who passed away after only two yrs together. No responses from the men I was interested in, lies on profiles, engaged men still with active profiles, etc. Most want someone younger and who have a fat bank account. That route is not for me. Thank you for posting! You are so right in that technology has made a big difference in how we communicate and meet people. While it can offer convenience, it can also be cold and impersonal. I find so little satisfaction in it. The world has changed and so many are self-centered and materialistic. Not many want to put the effort into a relationship, and no relationship survives without work. I want meaning and real love in my relationship. You are absolutely right. There is nothing quite like having that chemistry with someone, knowing your partner has your back and will stand by you no matter what. I can tell you right now that I have never felt as connected and peaceful to the core of my being as when in the arms of my partner. Just being quiet together is like nothing else in the world. I am a spiritual person and I think we were given this precious gift of connection with others as a reminder of the deep connection we have with our Creator. If only we all could see the gift we choose to squander and minimize. The world would be such a better place. Hats off to you, Anonymous. In my search for love again I hope I run into you! I am a 54 year old, reasonably attractive male who has never been married, but am currently on dating sites like eHarmony and Christian Mingle, etc. Some brag about their professional or life accomplishments but if you ask them what qualities they have to bring to a relationship, they just point to the same accomplishments. Another thing I find is that women of all ages seem to have non-stop activity in their lives and expect the man to become part of that non-stop whirlwind of constant travel, parties, dancing, shopping, animal rescue, large pet menageries, raising horses, and whatever else they are into. Me, I prefer less stress and so I guess you could say I am trying to slow life down instead of speed it up. I am not at all averse to dating women my age. If you look your age, great. I am also not bothered by scars, imperfections, mastectomies, and many other things that women might be afraid to let people see. I have my own scars and medical issues and the relentless pressure to be physically perfect is hurting many of us. But yes, there are certain things I am having a hard time getting past. Growing old together is not a problem, but starting out feeling very mismatched is. Beyond that, I have not considered divorced women in my search up to now, but after reading your post I will gladly rethink that. I has just been a matter of fear really, of being compared to a prior significant partner. But I have considered widows, so that makes me a bit inconsistent, Lol. In any case, what I really wish for most of all right now is having someone to talk to about all this, both male and female, who have gone through the dating scene or are going through it. I wish there were support groups for dating! Most of my friends are married or are not looking, so I do not have anyone to talk to about all this except for my therapist. It would be nice to have more people to bounce ideas off of, and have them read your profiles, etc. Not sure if anyone else feels the same. It is nice to hear, and I appreciate your post. The points you mentioned for a meaningful relationship are points I value very much. It can be very disheartening. I hope you do consider divorced women in the future, as most women and men our age have already been married. Most, but not all. I would personally consider any nice, genuine, kind man to have a relationship with, with only a few exceptions. Otherwise what is the point? Because of my butt kicking on more than one front, I am pretty accepting of people and their unique differences. I am also one who is not into drama, and I prefer a simple life with some periodic adventures. I am a nature girl with one horse and two dogs, but my days of raising animals is over. He gave them to me after the divorce even though they were supposed to remain with him. If he could throw me out of his life like trash I should have known he would throw away the dogs he wanted that I raised for him. The dogs will be with me until they leave this world because I believe in owning up to my responsibilities, but after that I am done with dogs. At our age it is very possible to have health issues and I have a few of my own. I can understand if someone else does too. I also want minimal stress in my life, and this outlook is very necessary for my overall wellness. I am certainly not the typical woman out there obsessed with activities and shopping. I am not lazy, but I know how to relax and have peace in my life. You can read articles and join in on forum discussions on many topics. You may find the various sites interesting and if you become a member there is a way to send me messages directly without having it posted publicly. The main site is bellaonline dot com. Maybe I will chat with you there. Good luck to you. I hope you find what you are looking for. I relate to so much of what you wrote, being that single guy that never married. You bring up a very good point…men our age need a place to talk about this stuff and learn from each other because, as only guys like us know, we are somewhat outcasts in society. Hard to have large social circles at this age, seemingly impossible to meet someone in the real world…left to the online dating environment which is flawed by its very design. Keep up the fight and the outreach. Something tells me there are millions of men like us. But the dating system is not built for us at this age. Talking about it together is a great step forward. Men need support to. You sound like a gem and good men like me love to hear kind words. Not much of that going around anymore as everyone is crippled by their frustration and anger… oh, and Chris: divorced women are SO much more down to earth and centered. Where are all the guys like you??? You are exactly what I am looking for….. I feel for your situation and the lack of support. They take your money and you get no satisfaction. I tried it and found it to be a waste. I contacted four guys through this venue and received no response from any of them. I even went out of my comfort zone a bit to give these guys a chance to just start a conversation. I am comfortable in my own skin and I know I am a quality person. It hurts when nobody gives you a chance. With one guy there was a nine year difference in age, but to me once you are 40 who cares? At the time he was 40 and I was 49. My friend tried to hook us up. She told him I am beautiful inside and out and she wanted to bring two good people together. Mostly about his own issues but that was ok because he needed someone to talk to. I told him some about my life too. Did not answer my emails either. He dominated the phone conversation so he knows what to say. He never met me in person to see if there was any chemistry. Does this make any sense to you? I probably look younger than he does because I look dang good for my age. Now he is with someone 9 years younger who bought her own house with cash. The other guy is only a couple years younger than I am and has known me for some time but only in a casual setting. He knows what kind of person I am. I asked him if he wanted to get together and he was open to it. I put the hint to him three times over 5 years and I left it up to him. I know that these men were not meant to be or it would have happened. Women and men both have become very self-centered. It is hard to be vulnerable anymore for fear of being taken advantaged of. And I realize you guys are being treated unfairly to pay for what some jerk did to a woman. That is a big problem. Because of great pain, some people become bitter. But I agree with you. There are many good people out there. I know you will find that special someone who will love you just they way you are. Even if you do open the door for her! I wish you all the best. Not one of us is perfect. Some choose to be honest, and some choose to play games. At 53 I am alone kids are doing there own thing. I have few friends left after the last marriage. Just feel really alone. Take care of myself. I too was cheated on, by more than one man. And yes, there often is a substantial loss of friends after a divorce. I understand loneliness well and the need for physical touch. Some days I can deal with it ok, and sometimes not. Six months is not all that long. Take this time to deal with and release the negative and painful feelings associated with your past relationships. Work on bringing yourself up and doing positive things in your life. Just keep moving forward. Good luck to you! My late father once told me that if a man reaches age 65 and can count 5 GOOD friends, he will have done well. Not mere acquaintances, but good friends who are there for you in time of need and vice-versa. Us fellas are not that good at it once we leave college. Women are much better. We get married, start a career and family, and totally throw ourselves into those two things; the unintended result is that we often lose time for and contact with our old buddies. This is why I have worked very hard over the past decade to make, keep, and solidify male friendships, both fairly new and from decades ago. And it can be work. Pick up the phone and make that call, schedule lunch just to catch up, etc. A key element, of course, is that it has to be a two-way street. That work has paid off in that I now have a good network of male friends who are there for support and camaraderie. You did the right thing by cultivating male friendships. We all need positive support systems. I am in the 25% of women who did not want a divorce. I went through it twice. He wanted out and I wanted to work it out. It was a short lived marriage. I was 26 the second time around and that relationship lasted 19 years, 16 years married. He wanted out because I was not good enough for him after he got two Masters degrees. I was fine for him when he was poor though. I supported his efforts to want to make a better life for us. Once he became successful I was booted out of his life. It really is hard to think of trusting again, but I have faith that I may just find one of you good guys some day. Most women today will really want the best of all which they will never settle for less either since most of these women are always looking for men with money anyway. I work to support myself so I am not looking for money. I am looking for a kind, loving partner. From a man I expect a little chivalry and a lot of respect. Take me out and give me flowers once in a while. And since this happened to me it really devastated me at that time thinking that i had finally met the right woman to settle down with. Now single and alone again since my Ex wife turned out to be the real pathetic low life loser that i never knew. And with no children to fall back on either just makes it worse for me since i always wanted children when we were married. I am very sorry for your experience. I had a similar one. I was together with my ex-husband for a total of 19 yrs, 16 yrs married. He cheated on me more than once and I stupidly kept him in my life until he finally wanted out. I did not want kids and he was ok with that until he had a midlife crisis. Then he wanted a divorce so he could go on to have his own kids. Even that was a lie because he married someone soon after the divorce and she had older children. I also supported him through years of school so he could make a good life for us. After all the degrees he attained he felt I was not good enough for him anymore. I found him online a year after he remarried looking for some action on the side. None of us are perfect, and I made my mistakes too. I wanted the marriage to work. He wanted greener grass on the other side of the fence. You can try your might to do the right things in life, with integrity and commitment, and still wind up out on your arse. Believe me, I was devastated after giving so many years of my life to someone I deeply loved, and the scars still cut me today. But I know I have to keep moving forward. Hang in there, Johnny. Keep being true to yourself and try to stay positive. If you believe in prayer or meditation it can really help. Take nature walks and get involved with groups that interest you, even groups that help others. You are a good guy and eventually you will attract someone who will appreciate you. We are out there! Your divorced because you made a bad choice. So now you want someone to clean up the mess. I am not a babysitter and there is no mess to clean up. He kept his car, our house, and all the furniture in that house. He lives very well right now. Men make choices too, good and bad. It takes two people to make a marriage work and to keep it together. Your sweeping generalizations and negativity are why you are alone right now. It will mean less trouble out there for us women in the dating scene to worry about. It is brutal out there dating. On the internet sites, women have, quite frankly, totally unrealistic expectations. I would try South America if I were going to try anything — or possible Germany — outside the US. Go read a trashy romance novel. Its what women want. And you know what? OTOH, you will get workout fiends who all still want Johnny Quarterback, except that dude IS the 50something guy with a BMW convertible that has a 30 or 20something GF. For most of us, a GF after age 50 is just NOT in the cards. Sure, it would be nice to have someone to wake up next to, and have sex with, and feel intimate with. They want Johnny Quarterback. I have friends and family out there who have told me pretty much the same thing. Not sure if many people there really deal with reality. I get why you are so frustrated. This country as a whole has an obesity problem. I too keep a few extra pounds in check but I know I look good when I leave my house. I look for what is inside a person. If the man is kind and respectful, his height makes no difference to me. I agree that everyone has to go out and live their lives. Doing what has meaning for you is very important in life. If the timing is right, who knows? You might just run into someone who gets you and has the same interests. Good luck to you. Being with a tall man allows me to walk tall and straight in my heels while at the same time making me feel more petite without slouching. I am more conscience of that fact when I shop for shoes, I settle for lower heels. I like to reach up on my tiptoes to kiss a guy. I am not attracted to a guy that is too skinny, nor attracted to some muscular buffed gym rat. I am not as toned as I would like to be, at 115 lb I still possess celulite. I would say I am average and am equally attracted to an average weight man. I would say get the hell out of Cali…I spend too much time there for work…and it is a cesspool of people. I have yet to go on a date as I have not felt comfortable with the prospects of getting out there in the marketplace so to speak. I have set my age appropriate limits of 52 — 62. Well I am venturing out finally by starting university at night school, hopefully to meet women of my age group and trying to find a local mixed golf league. I never thought I would be doing this but I am and I am not about to be a male spinster. Just want someone to have conversations with and to start to live again. Any suggestions would help. Thanks for whatever comes my way! I lost an intimate partner when he was 49. He was more to me than just a boyfriend. I understand some of what you have experienced. I think it is a mistake to limit the age of women you may choose to date. What if the perfect woman for you turns out to be 49, 50, or 51? Focus on what her interests are, what her values are, and how she treats people. You can feel it when someone is mature and has lived enough of life to be compatible. As far as your children go, they are no longer babies. Just as they would want to find love for themselves some day, you are also entitled to find love again and to be happy. The mother of your children will always have a place in your heart, and even she would not want you grieving and alone for the rest of your life. Dating again does not minimize what you had in the past. But right now you have to live in the present. What you are doing is a great idea. Get out and do things that are meaningful for you and keep on living your life. When the time is right you will run into someone special again. I commend you for branching out. It took me a very long time before I could even think about dating again. I wish you all the best. Online dating sux so far. Hell, one from huffington post was super depressing about women my age are now dating guys in their 20s-30s…if I was to start dating a woman in her 20s or 30s or worse yet a string of ladies in their 20s or 30s while a few people would probably cheer, most would at least be castigating me as pig or cradle robber etc… Open to idea and suggestions. I would go a little younger than my age if I found a nice guy, but not much younger. Even though age to me is not the most important thing when considering a partner, I am not prepared to date someone young enough to be my son. The whole thing is a money racket with poor results. I know several good women who have tried it for years only to get nowhere. It might mean less pain for me in the long run, even though I enjoyed marriage when I had it, hard work and all. I would do the same, and I have a lot of love to give the right man if I can find him. What it is is just being a decent, unselfish, and thoughtful human being. I have dated a number of women many of them widows not divorced who are my contemporaries at 55 and as old ss 60. Your post has certainly been enlightening, along with those of several other men here. All I want is a life partner, lover, and companion. I want to be with someone who has a kind heart. Everything else means little to me. If only we could band together the men like you and the women like me in a room. They are either overweight, have really bad teeth, or physical limitations like a bad knee. The men I want to pursue are handsome, fit, and financially secure. I know the handsome, fit, and financially sound men are looking for younger women so I have to compete with them for these types of men. The only way to do this is to be also be fit, well put together, get a little botox even, be confident, educated, happy, and fun! I have to take care of myself if I want a man who takes care of himself. Am I going to succeed? Most of my friends work out, go to zumba classes, jog, etc because they have a lot of time on their hands. I tried internet dating 10 yrs ago. Met a guy and we had a relationship for a while. I want to see the guy in 3D first, in person before I talk to him. It is that a normal healthy male of any age dating a woman of any age is doing it primarily for sexual gratification. If that leads to a long-term relationship, most normal guys will be fine with that. But in all the checklists posted by the women responding here, and elsewhere, how many place sexuality at the core of what they value in a relationship, with nothing else being a close second? But the reality is what men are really seeking is a hot woman or as hot as feasible under the circumstances who is very generous in bed. I hesitated to even ask that question because of the phony offense so many women will take at it—as if that kind of thing is NOT APPROPRIATE! Men and women are built differently, and although there are some similarities in needs like wanting respect from a pleasant companion, men focus more on the physical aspect of a relationship. Yes I know how to do it, and I happily please my man when I am in a relationship that is mutual and respectful. That means give and take on both sides. You accommodate my needs with caring and consideration and I accommodate yours. And I am not asking for the moon. Maybe some women put sex first in a relationship, but as a majority I think not. Our needs go beyond that. For over 35 years I was with my soul mate. The last 7 years of our relationship I took care of him. We traveled all over the world having a wonderful time and life. We worked hard and had 2 beautiful children, now morally grounded adults. The last few years, I would bathe him daily along with other personal needs, and yes, I would do it all again it I could have him back. Yes, I miss the WOW, Thank you for the organism sex we had…even after he was sick. Can a person find more than one soul mate in this world? I would hope so, and yes…sex is of the upmost importance. I have to believe there are a lot of women who will not admit this, especially in a public forum. I still have my soul mate forever in my heart, but I miss the sex. It needs to be combined with kindness, respect, compromise, and affection. Without sex, in most cases, the closeness will fade and one or both will feel neglected. Sex plays an important part in the overall intimacy of a couple. Equally important are respect, tenderness and moral strength. Well i would say so since by the way i am not fat at all and a very good looking guy by the way. Unfortunately i just keep meeting very pathetic women like you that have certainly destroyed the dating scene altogether now for many of us good innocent men nowadays really looking for a good woman to settle down with. I will certainly say that the women in the old days really did put You Women today to total shame altogether as well since they were really the opposite of You. I am a kind, affectionate, and attractive woman who would like to settle down with a good guy some day. That line of thinking is just not me. Good luck to you Mark. I really hope you find someone who will respect you and value you for who you are. You deserve nothing less. The statistics are grim. Are we to believe that 70 percent of husbands are bad!? Husband number 5 is either very brave or very dumb. Those are extraordinarily daunting odds. A colleague was dating a woman who told him she was separated from husband number two. He later discovered she was actually separated from husband number 4! The system is designed to extract the maximum amount of money from men, even though the majority of women work many now earn more than their husbands. He stands to lose the house, the children and most of his income. Talk about playing Russian Roulette. A woman must practically be a serial killer before the court will award child custody to the father. Is it any wonder that men are increasingly unwilling to sacrifice themselves on the altar of matrimony? Recently, census data revealed an unprecedented statistic. Certainly, some portion of this can be ascribed to the rise of women in the work force and in higher education. But younger men have taken note of the fate of their fathers, brothers and uncles at the hands of their wives and their allies in divorce court…and they want no part of it. Men did not create this situation. I am a widow. My husband died way too young. We had a very successful marriage. I husband was a unique, highly intelligent, flexible, considerate, sensitive human being who overcame his weaknesses because of his love for me and how much he valued our relationship. For me once was enough. All relationships change over time and it takes work to keep things exciting. Good guys today are seemingly rare and precious. If a woman has a good guy she ought to keep him in her life and care for the relationship with maturity. I really feel for the good, considerate and respectful guys. It just appears that there are less of us today. Kind of sad that both sides have negatively impacted how relationships between men and women go today, leaving many of us wanting the simpler things in life more than ever. Not by endless complications. But that goes against the grain of eons of female DNA development and eventually gets unsatisfying for them, just as the article describes in detail. So then they decide to dump Pajama-Boy and go for Mr. Have fun out there! The problem lies in the promiscuity of both men and women in recent decades. Time to be more choosy on who you go to bed with. I am close to be 50, married when 19 and perhaps naive when it comes to online dating. My relation with my husband is an honest one and he still makes me laugh and I love being around him. Nevertheless, I feel uneasy. What would I do if something is to happen to him? How my life would continue? He fills my days and means the world to me, and passion is still there… but my sister is in trouble and I am looking to find ways to help her. Do not know how! Her husband left her and children few years ago for the much younger woman. My sister is considering taking him back I do not think it is a good idea when people divorce to stay good friends as it seems he feels entitled to some things that he would not ever think of getting if she had kept the distance. I have read many dating profiles, of women my age, and noticed they have a few things in common. Most women in the dating pool,my age, with, or without kids, have a good career, are educated, with at least one degree, and have their own home. All of these women want a man who is at least equal in these categories. So basically, if men fall short, they might as well forget about the prospect a relationship, so why bother trying? The older one gets, the more disheartening it becomes. This is just my personal take on the subject. What has humanity come to? No wonder there are so many separations in relationships these days and more and more people alone. When are we going to wake up? I do accept men for who they are. You guys are different from women, no doubt about it, but I still believe there is hope to make things work with someone even in this day and age. Nobody is perfect, and we all could work on a little acceptance of each other. Unfortunately I have not had luck finding a good man my age. I have been judged unfairly as well in more than one instance. Many of the men on this blog have proven that the good guys are still out there. I am one of them. But realistically, how many women would date or be in a relationship, with a guy who lived in a mobile? There is a stigma attached to that. The want for financial security is understandable for a relationship. It would be selfish for a guy, who is barely getting by, to drag someone else, down with them, as much as it sucks. Women, for the most part, have torn up and discarded their half of the social contract that has underpinned Western Civilization for 2,000 years. To the majority of women, men are nothing more than disposable commodities. The group of women listed nearly 400. Do you see how insurmountable this has become for men? These issues, coupled with the anti-male bias in divorce court, make the prospect of a relationship or marriage to the modern western woman an endeavor fraught with peril. I advise all men to carefully consider all they could lose before risking it all. When the game is rigged, the safest move is simply not to play. You are confirming a harsh reality. A majority of women have taken their independence to the extreme. Not all of my experiences with men have been bad, so I hold on to the hope that I can find something good again with someone, even though the odds are not great. I just hope you can understand that all women are not the same. If I can look past the majority of men and see that there are still some good ones out there, can you do the same in regards to women? I, for one, am not in the majority. I want to share my life with someone who wants the same thing I do. It would be nice not to be alone in our old age. It would be nice not to be alone right now. A good guy is a good guy. Been there, done that not my choice for the divorce either. I realize the idea of that type of commitment these days makes men like deer in headlights. I truly appreciate them. I have a decent life now but being wanted and needed would make me happier. I think decent men are great people and I truly enjoy their company. But I am not one for casual relationships. I treasure what can truly be between a man and a woman if they both act unselfishly out of kindness and compassion. I am sorry for your loss. I also lost an intimate partner so I understand the depth of your sorrow. I wish you better tomorrows, filled with hope and love. Then comes the laundry list of deal-breakers. Yet in any column on how to write those profiles, the advice will say to clearly state what you have to offer, rather than what you are seeking or demanding. It is no wonder you men are so upset. What man would want to respond to profiles like that? Unhappy or single and maybe more unhappy…. Nothing will ever be perfect and we all have our horror stories from our past relationships. Percentage-wise I think there are a lot more risk taking men than women. Aging is in the body and mind. It is important to exercise both to keep them fit the best you can. By now a lot of us have medical issues, some of which may hold us back from doing certain things. I think it is about getting back to the basics of respect, compassion, giving, and understanding. Everyone is different, but with a measure of commitment I think a relationship can work at any age. But it has to come from both sides and there has to be genuine caring and a selfless attitude without giving up who you truly are as a person. Not easy, but not impossible. Just depends if both sides want it badly enough. As far as sex drive goes, I can only speak for myself at age 50 and say that I have no problems in that department. If you are physically able, attraction to sex has a lot to do with the mind. It can always be worked on and improved, especially if you have a loving, caring partner. So let me get this straight: If i want to have my own biological kids I obviously have to marry younger. But a younger woman will want a younger guy. I look at women my own age and they just look old to me. When women my own age hear something like that they get totally pissed off, and understandably so. Women my age on these sites? So I guess unless you did what you were supposed to do when you were supposed to do it when everyone is young and attracted to each other you are shit outta luck. Do I got this right? I have two single male friends in their mid to late 50s who are physically fit and good-looking to the ladies. In spite of their good health and vigor, no one would mistake them for a guy in his early to mid-40s, especially a woman. They have both admitted that, ideally, they would love to find a woman several years under age 50. The other qualities are important but will not matter unless that first piece is present. Are middle age women really any different in this regard? I agree that physical compatibility is necessary for a lasting relationship. I am 50 and I look at least 10 yrs younger. Nobody I run into can believe it, and I have even passed for 38. I tried to get to know someone who was 40 when I was 49, and his immaturity blew me away. I am hoping that someone around my age will have at least some of the same things in common. How about in the world there are a lot of attractive 50 + yr old women. Believe it or not. I see what you are saying in a way. What I seem to be encountering mostly are women who are angry and disappointed with men. With these women, as a man, I seem to have two strikes against me before they even get to know me. Life is simple, peaceful and quiet now; no more drama. Older successful men have it easy. We have zero interest in similarly aged or older women. We have two decades of younger possibilities. I would never date a woman my age 50 — why would I? Unfit, overweight, bitchy, demanding, nutty — all get you swiftly eliminated. No, marriage is not on my agenda. Maybe in 10 years, but there are plenty of 39 year olds today who will be in your shoes in 10 years and equally as desperate. Those seeds you planted in the 80s and 90s are being sown ladies… Career over family, demasculating divorce laws, free divorce, custody preferences, alimony, etc. I have zero sympathy. He hide his phone activities.. He betrayed me several times already.. So i reached on to LORD ADAMU and i saw how he helped and reunited many marriages. I ordered a spell, and after 24 hours of his spell casting which was on 12TH OF JANUARY 2016, my ex husband who has not talked to me for almost 13 months called for us to be together again, in addition he was completely regretful for all his erroneous actions and he told me his life made sense only when he met me. This spell is 100% effective for me and for my husband. Do contact him for similar issues on his email: and you can also call him on his Telephone: +2349066148726, wish you luck. Not only come back, the spell caster opened her up to know how much I loved and needed her for my kids. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try it. It will bring you a wonderful surprises as well as your lover back to you The way things were meant to be. Here is my dating experience since my wife tossed me to the curb in 07. One of the women I had known years ago and the other chased me hard until I finally let her catch me. Both of these women were total control freaks with almost zero interest in a love life. If you love me why are you abusing me? It seems once they think they have me locked in, out come the meat hooks. Then they get pissed when I bail. Every woman that I have dated since 2007 all said the same thing. But they have all been cut from the same cloth. Total sweethearts until they think they have me locked in. I tell them upfront that I want a love life and I want to be treated how they want to be treated. I make sure they get theirs no matter what. Seems like a contradiction and very immature on her part. The last relationship I had was after my divorce. This new man and I had lengthy conversations before we ever became intimate. He explained his physical needs and expectations and I explained mine. We worked everything out, he was very generous in bed, and his needs were met whenever he wanted it. We were both very happy in that regard. We only parted because a heart attack claimed his life after suffering for many years with medical problems. It is my experience that physical intimacy enhances other aspects of the relationship, meaning emotional stability and satisfaction, trust, bonding, etc. My advice is to continue to clarify what you want early on when you notice that a relationship is getting serious. That article pretty much mirrored the concept that women prefer the bad guy to the good guy. Scott My wife and I have been married for about 7 yrs now. We were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. I did all I could to rectify this problem but all to no avail, i became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr malik can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a spell for me. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr malik. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you. He will not disappoint you. Email him at : or contact him via +2348168660247. Truly DR ZUBA never failed me,my husband who left me for good a year come back to me. My husband and i have been living contentedly since this spell caster reunited us together with his love spells. Thank you so so so much DR ZUBA for your powerful spells. I am starting a journey to continue the rest of my life. Anyone who wants to rejoin their life can.