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- our joint child which is a separate struggle to cope with in itself. I saw things within the first year that I wasn’t sure about with her and maybe should have been more vocal about whether or not this would work out. But for me Atleast guilt again made me stay because her and her son had moved in with me (she lived with her parents). I didn’t want to totally destroy her because I hate making people cry and break their hearts. Also I think, I wanted to give it time, a year or 2 to see if she changed or maybe the relationship would grow into what I needed from it. But it didnt. Most people don’t change. I feel relief from being out of that relationship of being emotionally ignored and taken for granted but I still am dealing with the “normal” emotions of guilt for having put her and her son and now our son through a breakup. I know it gets better with time and everyone will move on and be happy. I want her to be happy again with someone or even just herself at the moment. I wish in noone heartbreak or the guilt of heaving been in a relationship too long because of various reasons. But I will say (also from all the other comments on here), it is better to be honest and open and not stick around for the wrong reasons. You owe to both of you.
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- Red November 5, 2015 at 8:51 am #
- I ended a 15 year common law relationship recently, and I have fallen in love with someone else. That was purely accidental, and I did not cheat. This has been one of the most painful things I’ve ever dealt with, he had a previous ex from hell, no wsy I’ll put him through that again. No child support, 50/50 custody, no court involvement, just raising our kids together as friends. He was always the one threatening to leave, he controlled most if what I did through whining and pouting and guilting, including my job as manager at a hotel. Even though I am the strong one and can push on no matter what, I worry about him. We were together so long I’m going to be laying there at night wondering what he’s thinking as he’s going to sleep, or what he’s doing after work . why do I feel so guilty for doing this, why do I feel so alone right now. I can’t tell him because this isn’t about me right now. We are still best friends, but suddenly things are awkward to say to each other ya know. Why does it hurt so much? Because it was real?
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- Lisa November 24, 2015 at 12:33 am #
- I’m going through this too, I’ve tried breaking up many times but he almost begs that I stay with him, and I can’t bare it so cave. I’ve shown my concerns but he seems pretty happy with the relationship being totally one sided. It doesn’t help its long distance so I do get excited to see him but I care for him, I can’t see us going anywhere. What do I do? We have gone out for 3 years so he knows me too well and always avoids the conversation. Am I really that horrible?
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- Ricky November 25, 2015 at 12:41 am #
- No, you’re not horrible. I’m in the exact same situation. It’s been two years and the past 10 months i’ve realized that it isn’t going to work. I want out but the points brought up in this post are all the reasons I can’t. I feel like I’ll be personally destroying someone else’s feelings….heart. I know i’m only hurting us both. It weighs heavily on me daily…I know what I should do but I’m afraid…she’s a good person.
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