Why does dating seem so hard? How are you supposed to meet and flirt with men? Trouble is this amazing new man already has a woman at home. He has a wife, he has children, and he has commitments. He spends time with you, and then goes home to play Daddy. He loves his kids. Think about it this way. You see all these words and feelings he describes to you are just as much fantasy to him as they are to you. He has you exactly where he wants you. In a bed when HE feels like it. You deserve so much more than that! About About David 1. I never sugar coat anything. Nice is so overrated. Recommended for You: This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me. My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa ork who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on.? There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called grace,she testified about how papa ork brought back her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop papa ork e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give papa a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great papa ork today, he might be the answer to your problem.? Here's his contact: orkstarspell gmail. Contact him today on: orkstarspell gmail. My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa ork who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on.? There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called grace,she testified about how papa ork brought back her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop papa ork e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give papa a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great papa ork today, he might be the answer to your problem.? Here's his contact: orkstarspell gmail. Contact him today on: orkstarspell gmail. I don't know what these women are thinking.... I have to agree with the ladies who posted before me. Take your self-respect back and Just. Hi David, I've been subscribed to your newsletter and occaisionally read your blog for some time. I felt the need to reply to this one. Several years ago I had a married man persue me for 2 years before I relented, and became his sideline girlfriend for almost a year, before it became obvious he and his wife were lookong for an excuse to break them up... And then learned I wasn't the only girlfriend he had. All you say is completely true and I would also encourage any other single women out there to free herself from such garbage... I agree 100% with David, but that's only for women that want to be in a relationship with a married man. I have dated married guys before and not for them to leave their family but as a stepping stone. I don't want them to leave her for me and even if he did, I would leave him. I am not excusing my behavior but in my experience dating a married man is so much better than dating a lot of these single guys out here. Instead of wanting a relationship from these men try learning something from them and also learn somethings about yourself. I promise it will make all the difference in the world! Ally-true that most the single guys around don't have their sh t together-but are you kidding? These guys come across as victims... My guy lead me to believe he was a victim of physical and emotional abuse... I have always been a caring and loving person. I never have been a 'home wrecker.... I can see now, that she had an affair too, and they cuddled back together. I was merely a catalyst for their sick, weird ways... Christina, You are absolutely right about putting yourself in the wife's place before you let yourself sleep with a married man. I was able to discount her feelings because of all the bad things he had told me about her. However, when I discovered that MY primary relationship partner had cheated on me throughout our 23 year relationship, I was able to put myself into the fiancee's shoes, and I ended the affair... About a year after I ended things with him, he broke up with his fiancee and announced to her and me that he was in love with a THIRD woman.. Now, I was never foolish enough to think he was going to leave his fiancee for me, but I'm also not going to say I didn't secretly hope he would. And it did hurt a bit to think he didn't care enough about me to disrupt his life and home for me, but he did for the woman he is currently seeing. I understand women do this oftentimes as the punctuation mark of their unhappiness so that the bad relationship can't be salvaged:. In other words they want the thrill of the secondary relationship because its easier to work in the primary one he really wants to keep because of the security. You were in a very vulnerable position and wanted to believe all the nastiness he said. Married men, newly single men, and especially those who have been out if a relationship for a good bit of time and talk badly about their ex-they haven't learned anything-RUN! A week ago I found out the guy I was seeing is married! I broke things off but it has been so hard to keep away from him. He was so nice, he treated me like a queen and helped me through a very rough patch! I want to get over him, I want to keep away from him but it's so hard. I am 19yrs old he is 30 Its been 2 years and 8 months since i was involved in this married man relationship until on my birthday date this january i realised i was living a life full of lies... He had the guts to go for a night out with another lady on my birthday date but not his wife with the excuse i have a small baby no way i could leave her to celebrate my birthday... My supervisor and I have been talking for over a year and just recently we have become intimate. We text and call but not too often. We do everything safe. I do not love him and nor does he love me. We just enjoy having sex together. Their is no commitment... I like it because their is no drama and nothing is ever complicated between us. Its just purely sex. My marriage was pretty much over when I met my married man and as soon as I realised I was having feelings for another man I told my husband it was over and we separated. The married man did the same but then freaked out as his wife threatened to take the kids away and he relented, begged her to come back and so began the waiting game. He told me he loved me, that his wife was cold and judgemental and didnt like sex. He talked to me ALL the time through facebook,, told me that his marriage was defintely over and that he just wanted to do it slowly and carefully for his girls' sakes. I found it very hard and was often emotional, also dealing with the stress of separating from my husband and making sure my own kids were okay. We embarked on a physical relationship that was probably wrong because I should have waited until he had definitely left, but it felt like mutual comfort, something that we both needed and I was head over heels in love with him. He was very charming and charismatic, promising me that it would all be okay and getting cross with me if I ever voiced doubt. I know now that he lied to me a lot but at the time it seemed as though he had an answer for everything. One day he just stopped talking to me. He said he had had the worst night of his life and that we should take the time to get our shit together and then see what remained. I wondered if his wife had found out, but mostly i blamed myself as I had been needy and emotional that week, asking him when he was going to leave etc. But I decided he was right, we had to sort our situations out, so I stayed calm and concentrated on sorting out my own separation. I didn't hear from him for about a month. Just recently he started contacting me again, saying that he had missed me and asking me to go for coffee. We met up and had a lovely time and I thought this was it, he had sorted his shit and was ready to be with me.. Maybe I should have asked him outright what was going on but I was too high on the thought that he still loved me and there was obviously still chemistry between us. The next day he told me how he was confused, and what had happened before. His wife had asked him to leave, not because of our affair but because she had grown tired of him not caring about her. He rented a flat for a couple of weeks and was given papers to sign, but realised he couldn't do it and begged her to take him back. Now his relationship with his daughters is better than ever and he wants to repair his marriage. He said he wanted to stay good friends with me, maybe more, because who knows, it might not work out in a year or so. I said I couldn't do that. I was absolutely fuming - what on earth was he thinking sleeping with me when he wanted to make his marriage work? I felt used and I lost my temper with him. I slapped him, and though I feel my anger was justified I feel awful about that. I was so angry that i threatened to tell his wife everything and he actually had the gall to beg me not to break his marriage. I won't but only for the sake of his kids. I feel as though I have lost everything for him. I have no friends left as they didn't approve of my relationship with him. Things with my ex are very strained as he was hurt by the way I ended it with him. My kids have suffered.. Trust me; a relationship with a married man is NEVER worth it, especially if he has kids. I am so so so much on the situation now, after a relationship of 28 months with a married man. I need to speak to someone, but I feel helpless and this suffocates me to no end. Pls advice where I can reach you, as I am feeling totally miserable and helpless... I am losing my sanity coz of the situation I am in. Dear confused, No sweetheart.. You're not crazy, just crazy in love. I am a Christian myself and so is he so we know it's wrong. But I understand the strong ties that bind you to him. I would like to say... Leave now, run, be strong.. But that would make me a hypocrite. After my divorce my guard was high and I had no tolerance for men. And, not being coincided because I've never been stuck on my looks. But I am a very attractive woman with a beautiful heart. With many men that would love to be with me. Somehow thisman broke down my wall and we fell in love. I don't have the answer for you, if I did I wouldn't be in my mess either. But I do try to remember this one thing... The odds are not in my favor and I am the one who will ultimately get hurt and be alone. He'll still have his wife. I pray we both find the courage to say no one day. I was dating a married man and in my case your over generalized, over simplified, narrow minded, judgmental article couldn't be farther from the truth. Why do you assume the mistress is always a pathetic, needy, insecure fool waiting by the phone for her married man to call her for sex? My married man happened to be head-over-heels, crazy in love with me and treated me far better than anyone Ive ever dated. He was not a bad person or a chronic cheater either. He was faithful to the same woman for 12 years before he cheated with me. When I met him he was very lonely and depressed, surviving on high doses of antidepressants and internet porn. He didn't like his wife anymore, the marriage had been bad for 8 years, and if it wasn't for his kids he would have left a long time ago. She wasn't happy either. She denied him sex. I never intended to fall in love with a married man, especially one who lived thousands of miles away. At first we were pen pals, texting late into the night, confiding in each other our darkest secrets. I admit I was intrigued because he was a CEO of a big company in a big city. Likewise, he found it interesting that I was a perpetually single and ferociously independent traveling ICU nurse. We were from different circles and different lifestyles, but from the moment that we met we never stopped engaging. I knew right away that I was dealing with a very sensitive, vulnerable man. I had reservations about it because I wasn't sure if I felt as strongly about him as he did about me. But for some reason I couldn't turn away. I met him on business trips and visited me in my city several times. Gradually he started making changes. He weaned of his antidepressants in one month. He started eating healthier, and exercising daily. His posture improved, his skin improved, he literally looked years younger. He found is libido again and it came back with gusto. I found him to be very smart, darkly funny, insightful, inquisitive, emotional and passionate. He said I was inspiring, loving, gentle, peaceful, beautiful and sexy. At 32 years old I realized that I was in love for the first time in my life. Still, I wasn't completely satisfied. I felt ashamed and guilty that I was the other woman. I felt sad for his wife and kids. I never pressured him to leave her and I never expected it, or even secretly hoped for it. But I decided I needed to leave the situation and reflect for a while. I told him I couldn't revolve my life and my decisions around a married man. At first he begged me to keep seeing him. Then he said he understood. He said if he let me get away it would be the worst mistake he has ever made. Fast forward two years... I work in a nice community hospital and he takes the train to work. He gave her everything including two houses and half his income, but he doesn't care. He says if money made him happy, he would have been happy. He says he finally found what makes him happy... The way we met and fell in love is unconventional and far from perfect and I know the world would condemn us for it. But it doesn't matter. We are human and we are happy. We appreciate and love each other. We take care of each other. Its not my fault the marriage ended. It was over long before I came along. Who knows maybe she has a chance to find happiness too now, because she was never going to have it with him. Anyway, I call bullshit on your little article. It may be true for many people, but you should never say never. I was not his play thing or his piece of meat. He treated me like I was an angel and he still does. Not all married men are looking for just sex, some are looking for love as well. Hello, just to clarify i am not the other woman or a betrayed wife. I don't think my husband is having an affair but who knows right. But for most women they will dissapointed. Some married men do fall in love with you and do want to be with you etc. But what you have to face is if he doesn't leave his wife in the first 3 to 6 months he will never leave unless the wife finds out. A lot of married men aren't necessarily using the other woman he may care for her but the relationship with him is making you and him feel alive, he loves that you are doing that for him. He loves that you listen, that you talk, that you have the most amazing sex in your life. But just think about the above statement. Don't you think that he felt that way about his wife before they married. Other wise why would he have married her in the first place. Because he felt those feelings for her before they married. Unless they were forced into the marriage. And yes sometimes when you do marry someone you can think this was a mistake. Because real life sets in and we can begin to wonder about our lives and that is where affairs begin. The relationship with a married man becomes a fantasy as in you go back to being a teenager who has no responsibility no worries just both of you in your little bubble. And of course the married man is going to treat you well. Better than anyone else has because if he doesn't would you be with him other wise. I do wonder in 2018 if you are still with him. I hope for your sake you are. Alice, I enjoyed reading what you wrote. I met a man whom is married whom claims to love me as much as I do. We are from different backgrounds being that I went to Culinary School and he is a prestigious doctor! We didn't see each other often because it is four hours one way being in different states. I have never met a man whom connects so well with me. My family hates the fact he could be using me? I get afraid thinking of that yet know we mesh well. He told me to let him work out his emotions and then he wants to be with me? I was once married to an abusive man whom truly didn't have any respect for me. Even though I don't see this awesome man much he sent me three dozen flowers for my birthday! I know he has a great heart and can see us together! He wants to take me home to Zimbabwe to meet his family! Money means nothing when you have lived like I have at a shelter when threatened by my ex husband. Nick has my heart in Iowa and I pray we work through our disagreements. Congratulations and thanks for giving me hole. Joann Alice, I just want to say THANK YOU!!! Your story is very similar to mine except the divorce is not final yet. I never intended for this to happen. As a matter of fact I've had this happen to me in my first marriage so I know how it hurts. Like you, I feel very sad for his wife. And the effects it would have on his children even though they are grown. We started as friends and gradually feelings began to emerge. We live hundreds of miles apart, yet he not only tells me he loves me but shows me. I get cards and gifts and text and calls constantly everyday. I know this man loves me fiercely. And I love him the same. And we haven't even had sex yet. But there's a part of me that says break away. I don't want to be the reason a family is torn apart... At l least i didn't think i was. I'm so confused and torn. We want to be together but all logic says this is wrong. I finally find someone who loves me like no one has before, and although I've been in love before I've never felt what I'm feeling now I know the statistics.... But am I wrong for hoping and praying that one day this man will be completely mines. Thank you Alice for giving me hope that it can happen. I agree with you.. I can relate Alice. I am in love with an amazing man. He too treats me better than any man I have ever loved or been with. I KNOW I am not just a sex toy simply by the things he does for me when he simply does not have to do those things. Im on this site actually because this morning, his wife found out. She texted me at 5am and I did not reply. I also have not heard from my guy. Ive texted him twice, but no reply as of yet so I will give him room. I want him to pay homage and respect to the 15 year relationship and 7 year marriage he has with her. I relocated to be with him. I moved over 1000 miles to be closer to him. He has a key, and things here. He calls this home.. They do have children 3. However only 1 of them is his.. Every situation has a different story and that is what everyone NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND. Dont read my story, or Alices story or anyone elses and feel sad, or discouraged. WALK IN FAITH, because it is really all any of us have. The content of your situation is NOT in the situation itself, but rather THE CONTEXT OF THE MAN. Its about the MAN we have chosen to love. I DO Agree with the douche David Wygant who started this website when he stated that when someone wants to be with you, they want to be with you everyday.. Cheating takes WORK, and if your guy has a full life: work, her, children, and is actively involved in tending to you... You DO serve a function in his life, but the key is to pay attention to HOW HE TREATS YOU. How he treats you will tell you EXACTLY what your role is in his life. It will tell you if you are a sex play thing for him, or if you are the real thing for him? HIS ACTIONS WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING. I will end by saying, Alice.. I am happy for you. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED. The situation is purely based on the context of the MAN. Every situation is different, I'm in a relation for 3 years with a married man, I'm divorce and I have two boys ,he's older the. Me with 25 years basically has the same age with my dad, he has been married for 40 years has kids and grandchildrens, I love him and I'm sure about he's love , why? He's with me every day all day ,he enjoy every second what we share, i feel that I'm a big priority in his life, he look after me and he care about my children ,he is next to me if I'm not well or no matter what a problem I have he is there in the right place, I'm not jealous that his married , we don't do plans for the further, we enjoy the moment,help each other, and if the life will be in our side we will be together but everything was clear from the beginning : the only think what can separate him of his wife is just the dead so I'm a good person and I can't hope in something like that , he never promise me nothing more and I have a ex experience before of a 12 years marriage and is a amazing different from how happy I'm now and how I was before. So we can't advice nobody from outside , is about respect, spending time together,be compatible in a bed, conversation, and enjoy the moment,,maybe the people are to gready and they should fix from the beginning where they are and don't loose the time with something what don't deserve. Good luck to all Thank you! I love the positive. This gives me hope! I believe in the love we share. He wanted to fall in love with me because I give him a love he has never felt before. I have been contemplating breaking it off to give him mental space for some time now. Decided to set a date. Thank you thank you!!! I love the positive. This gives me hope! I believe in the live we share. He wanted to fall in love with me because I give him a love he never felt before. I have been contemplating breaking it off to give him mental space for some time now. Decided to set a date. Thank you thank you!!! Hi I have met a man who is married. His wife and him live together but he travels alot for work. I met him at an airport about 9 months ago and he comes to my country for work as he is ceo of big company and comes here for work every few months. He spoils me better then anyone has ever treated me before. I have spent last 2 days with him and after i left this morning he text me and told me he misses me already. He has promised to keep in better contact this time. When we first met he invited me back to his hotel for dinner. He told me he was married and told me his situation right from the beginning. So he did not hide anything from me at all. He is 53 and i am 30.... Its early days yet and im in no rush for anything serious really but i find it kind of exciting and havent felt this happy in a long time. I really enjoyed your story and hope that one day i might have a story like yours : Ladies! I was in a relationship with a married for 5 years and the outcome is never good.. Your married man will become your ghostly lover.. You will be thinking more about him then yourself. Your life will stop time. At the same your married lover will return home and his life will continue while you schedule your life around his. He will never leave his wife and family. Where does leave you as his cheating partner. Has he promised a future together? I bet your married lover never sat down with and actually discussed those future plans. So,ladies my advise don't get involve with a married man unless you enjoy the idea of being more lonely. This is my experience and I finally gained myself respect and confidence to end this relationship. I ignored his calls,texts and blocked his number.. I went through the grieving cycle. Finally I realize I was worth a healthy relationship. Good lucky ladies,remember your worth beautiful and healthy relationships.. I agree, I've been with my happily married man for almost five years. I only get to see him maybe twice a month, so I spend a lot of time alone and I hate it. I've tired to end the relationship, but my mind and my heart are in constant battle with each other. My mind says break it off, you deserve better, but my heart says something else. I made a mistake and fell in love with him, that was my mistake. He says he loves me, but also loves his wife and that a person can be in love with two people at the same time, which I do believe can happen. I have know from almost the beginning that he wasn't going to leave his wife. They have no children together, but children from previous marriages, and they are all grown with children of their own, but have grandchildren. I believe there is something missing in his marriage for him to go outside the marriage, there is a void that needs to be filled and I am doing that for him. But either way, I know this relationship isn't healthy for me, its stressful, its lonely, I am not happy, I am not the person I was five years ago before I met him. And I don't know about any of you, but the truth is, the hardest part of this relationship is knowing he will always go home and will be intimate with his wife. He has told me I shouldn't be thinking about things like that, but how can you not, seriously. That and being lonely all the time is the hardest part for me. I told him that sometimes I feel used, especially when I only get to see him only a couple times a month. He said he doesn't and never would ever use me. Sometimes I don't believe everything he tells me, maybe I'm naïve. I wish someone could tell me what I should do, but I know that is only a decision that I can make. I just needed to talk to someone. I've been finding it interesting, that most of the articals that I've read on this subject, and there has been a lot. I've been involved with a married man for 19 months. We have been long distance friends for about 18 years. It's a long distance relationship. I like to think this relationship is actually favorable to me. I love my time alone. To do the things I want. I have my own life when he's not here. I enjoy him when he is. I understand that he has connections with his wife and family. It's out of site and out of mind. For some very independent, single people who want their freedom and to have someone to love and fullfill their needs, dating married people isn't so bad.... I agree with you Dianne,.. I like my freedom too and if he 'loves' you more than the wife then that is genuine. He seems to fill your void other than your need for solitude. I am quite similar but Im having trouble with 'my' attachment issues, as freedom and own space is great but when I have gone through a lot, I cannot seem to depend on him at all times emotionally. Factors of measuring up exactly how much time you actually-have spent together in the 'years' of knowing each other would surprise you... We know that we all meet people for different reasons, and sometimes the younger woman older man scenario could be to help you better yourself or the other in some special way that only you share the grounds of getting through deep meaningful change in each other. I have absolutely no- real patience, and I was looking for a fairy tale love, but it often feels like we are dying when we don't do much together that previously excited me. Now I am sounding like a married man! In time girls, I do believe that we already know the answers to our woes.. I agree to some to ladies it is may be favorable to enjoy this type of relationship.. However eventually as time passes from 3 months,3 years or more the degree of relationship changes as well. As in any relationship, we as indivduals would like too share more time with our partners,share our emotions and important milestones in the present and for the future. Unfortunately most of the time this will never happened.. While our love for our married man his love is restricted because of his commitment to his wife and family. Sure in the beginning of my affair it was great but it became more difficult because I wanted more out of it. Sure I kept telling myself I understand his situation,so I put my emotions to side and my emotions eventually caught up with me.. So, I believe the mistress is not pathetic or being played it is the relationship with time that becomes emotionally pathetic because of differences in issues that were put on the back burner that were fine then,but 5 years later they are no longer fine. I wish the best for anyone who is dating a married man and I truly hope these ladies take care of their emotions,because if it doesn't work out the effects is most likely to be devasting. These were my experiences.. Can you give me an update please, I am 27, met mine over 4 years ago when I was a private escort. He's now 48 but isn't old old like you'd think. Mine says the same things to me,.. I feel he is genuine my instincts are strong enough.. I do believe, your c ase, find out if he has kids and read the stories here.. Maybe I should break up, then tell him if he wants to be with me, try me when he is actually ready to seal another knot. To anyone out there who will listen. Never date a married man. If you choose to, just remember to never believe whatever he tells you. I found out not only the married man I was dating lying about the circumstances surrounding his marriage, but he was also seeing another woman. Come to realize the wife found text messages between them and they are heading for a divorce. He wants me to find somebody else and get married to. He even gave me advice on finding the right person. This was a guy who wanted to build a life with me and have kids with me one day. Sneaking around is not easy as it seems. You will always come last. He will promise you the world and go home to his wife. Believe me is not worth it. Now am trying to start over with someone else and believe me it feels good for you to call your man anytime of the day being bright early morning or how late it is at night. It feels wonderful to walk in public holding hands, kissing and not worrying about someone seeing us. Am not saying is easy moving on because I still have feelings for the guy, but the more you stay, the worse it will get. Good luck out there! REALITY CHECK FOR ALL YOU SELFISH ASSHOLES I read my 13 year old daughters journal which had a suicide note to her Mom and how she hated her for what she was doing , I have been taking my daughter to therapy for the last month but the next step is the hospital , my wife has put her feelings ahead of her daughter for a married man. He has fooled you for a long time. He has entertained you all on our joint credit cards now all in default. I am filing for bankruptsy today. Two summers ago I could have saved our finances and if it wasn't for you he may have found true mental counseling for his depression and avoidance of his addiction to credit, football games 400 miles away, and beer. But you stepped in like the loser and almost homeless woman you are and gave his the praise false, because you have no clue what a liar and abusive creep he is and sex all for very little. But then you cooked like a foot so he spent more and more of OUR credit taking you to Franke Valle concerts and then he was so broke he has to take tiny cheap air flights out of Atlantic City to dumps like Fort Lauderdale to keep you as his Narcissist Supply you fool and your sick baby talk to him. Stop the baby talk to him. He flew to Greece on my credit!!. Please enjoy the new shoes I bought you on your birthday with my credit card. You have no clue how much damage you have caused me and my daughter. Get help, get a car and please stop using George Patouhas as the rich daddy you never had because it is all MY credit and I am filing to day and luckily am told I won't lose the home Please stay the heck out of my Ford Explorer and take the Septa but or get out of Essington and work near your dumpy South Philly apartment. Please put a new windshield in the truck and stop driving your girls around with a cracked windshield. It shows your lack of maturity in facing your own desperate situation where your are using an old man and his car rather than getting help such as Section8 housing where you could save for own vehicle. You are insane and so is he. The diner is dead and up for lease. GET A NEW JOB! Correction: You cooked like a fool, I mean to say. The rickety flight out of AC was to the dump in Virgina Beach nasty place, please get some taste in your destinations , and I meant to say Septa bus. I saw the empy diner and your sad face with your losing hair balding hairline. This man had me sick as well. It's his number one control tactic. You never know for sure trust me where he is and when he'll show up. It's a constant state of waiting and he loves it because he is a narcissist. Check out Kim Saeed's website LetMeReach. You are a chess piece to his real life of the four creepy moral less men-Silverman, Monroe runs a gambling ring in delco , Vesyonaros, and Zacci. All creeps who he is a puppet to. Call me anytime you want to commiserate or for help. Our number is still in the book. Check out Kim Saeed she is a life saver My daughter is dating a married man. When we objected and pointed out the same things you mentioned, she made excuses until he said let's take a break for a month because my wife wants to see if we can work it out, if there's a chance. He has 2 children and he said at first his wife's idea was for them to date other people to see if they felt attracted to other people then get a divorce or stay together. He gave her all the rules on the first date. No one is yet aware of trouble in their marriage so it can't be public. They would dine on opposite side of towns. Now after a month he publicly goes to her job and delivers flowers. He said he moved out to his other home and now they can be public. I still say it's too soon, and believe even if they just split up the wife may change her mind and want him back. Plus he says he would get the kids one week which comes with his mother-in-law staying at his home for the week because she is their nanny. I never heard of such a crazy thing. Plus he still intends on seeing the kids a dew days on the week he doesn't have them. She's excited because they have a wonderful connection. No sex yet she says. He takes her out for lunch and dinner and now maybe a vacation. What should I do? She says she deserves happiness, deserves to go on vacation. Has been single for years and has not yet met Mr. She doesn't feel she's wasting her time. He's older but she feels that's not an issue, she's 25 and he's 51 and he talks about wanting more kids. He knows she would want marriage and children. How can I stop her? Your advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening, I'm even to embarrassed to tell people she's dating a married man so other than God this is my first discussion with anyone other than my husband. Thank you, Cathy I'm a 57year-old female seeing a married man who's wife is in prison, I've been seeing him 6 months ,we have never been out on a date. He always comes to my house. I've never been invited to his house. He likes to text me. Comes over once a week. I'm thinking I'm probably being used. He claims to be in love with me. What do you think About my situation? I am in exactly the same situation. Its been about 4yrs on and off. Its the same over and over, time wasted. All I hear is I like you, care about you, and I love you, don't call me I can't answer right now, I promise to go by next week, and then no show, No call as to why he could not come by. No response to text sometimes. When there is a response sometimes its prono stuff yuck. He likes me because he gets what he doesn't at home. He tells me he is very unhappy in his marriage, but has done nothing about it. I loaned him some money, for a car for his daughter not a lot ; yet I take the bus. I wont ever see that money. I now have an opportunity to move and I am moving. It hurts because I do have feeling for him and I feel bad for him. I am going where with him. I know if he really wanted a true relationship with me; it would have happened by now, but it hasn't. It is so easy to dish out the dirt about woman like us and labelling us as homewreckers but noone knows what we go through as well. The heartbreak of watching the man you love be with another woman. Judge us all you want but we are not the bad guys of the story. He came to me as single and when i realised he was married i had already planned my life with him. Why lash out at me when he is the one who walked out of his house and disrespected his vows. Why should I be the one to fix anything for if not me it's another woman. The problem isn't the woman who he cheated with it's the cheater himself AND your participation in the affair. Stop the crap about poor me. And think about the heartache and pain that u r helping to create for his family In some states the betrayed spouse can sue the individual that had an affair with her husband. Too bad it's not the law in all states. Didn't he tell you way back then it wasn't your fault, didn't he tell you way back when he was leaving his wife.. There is no fairy tale with a married man.. As painful as I have to admit. I met this wonderful man on line who was very upfront about his marriage. We had great conversation and a lot of common interest. I wasn't looking to fall in love and neither was he... He called and texted me EVERY chance he could and we talked all the time. Since he lives in another state it was not easy getting to see each other. I love this man and I know he loves me. But I also know that he loves his family. With both of us being Christians, it eventually became apparent that this situation had gotten way out of control... No matter how much they love you ladies, and this love can be very real..... He will never leave his wife FOR YOU. The marriage may not work out, but don't let it be because of you. We knew we were wrong, but the Holy Spirit would not allow us to continue in this sin. Obedience really is better than sacrifice... It hurts, but it's the right thing to do. Love him enough to let him go and give his marriage a fighting chance. God will send you your own Boaz..... I agree with David. No matter how hard ur life is. He'll promise the world,that he cnt even provide for hmself. Ur jst a fling to him. Stop living in a fantasy woman. The are many great guys out there,u jst hv to wait. Its really not worth it my dear. Once I saw pictures of the family on line.... I knew I had to break it off. See, I was that wife in the picture at one time and found out my ex had cheated on me many times. After seeing her face, it broke me down and reminded me of the pain another woman had caused me. I can't do that to another woman.... I will always love him.... I'm dating a married man, have been for 3 years, we have a beautiful little boy. He comes to us every single day. We take trips, go on vacation, like a real family. His wife knows about our child and my son sometimes go visit by their house. I'm going nowhere, im happy with him and she knows that. Ahe said she's not going anywhere, but that's her problem, sure I do feel sorry for her I really do, but she doesn't have to be in the marriage anymore if it's only bringing her sadness I am in a relationship with a married man. He's kind, thoughtful, patience.. There is no sexual intercourse ever happen to us. But these past few days, he was asking me if we can do it that thing you know But I don't think I can engage myself or our relationship to the next level. Dear jessy, As strong as many women are we are still very emotional ladies.. Dating any married man is totally unhealthy and having a sexual relationship just intensify your love for him and 99% of the time the married man cannot and willfully not give what you want or need in a beautiful and healthy relationship. So please stay clear away of having a sexual relationship and be strong and stay clear of this married man. The outcome for you will never be good.. I , know I was there.. Jessy you have to decide are you willing to give up your self happiness , and the opportunity to meet an umarried man who wants to share is time with you or are you willing to share time ony when your married man is available to you.. You'll never be able to justify your actions ,because you knew he was married from the get go.. I truly wish you luck.. Rr I've wasted 10 years of my life waiting for my married boyfriend to get a divorce. He and his wife have been separated for about 9 years. I feel like a complete idiot. He's a writer and quite famous. He wrote entire books of poetry for me. His words were like magic. But he's a liar and a phony and it took 10 years for me to figure it out. Now I'm too old to have kids. I still look good for my age but let's face it, I'm old now. Who wants a 45-year-old girlfriend? Don't date a married man even if he says he's leaving his wife. I'm a complete idiot and I know it. I am finally walking away of a LDR with a married man. He has asked me to give him time to move to my city, he planned to leave his family - I can't do it. A year and that was hell. You never feel at peace in this type of setting. It's not worth it. It's hard to walk away but it's worse to stay and waste your life. I prefer solitude over this type of unhealthy relationship anyday. I have no experience, ever.. He is my 2nd boyfriend and he his married. I know it is wrong but, he said it will be alright soon.. I don't think he deserve to be the first man who will make me experience the feeling of making love, for the first time.. But I am confused. I don't know if I'll provide it to him just to prove the love I am feeling. What will I do? I've none my now married boyfriend for about 13 years. We've always had a thing as kids. Eventually we had a gap, he was dating when we reunited and we stood as friends. Eventually we got closer and started being hook up buddies I was young maybe 17 as we were hooking up he goes on and married his wife. I wanted to stop talking to him after his wedding but he managed to text me the next day. So I was dumb thinking I got the situation under control and won't fall for him as hard. Few months pas we stop talking at all Months later he texts me and so we met again. He told me he loves me, wants me, so my question was your married why would you tell me this now?! Why didn't you choose me then?! So I fell for his words. Fell deeper and deeper for him. I can't and won't for a second doubt that he doesn't love me. So we've now been dating for four years. He spends maybe eight hours a day with me. Tells me he loves me, wants me, will leave his wife to be with me, how I'm better and he regrets letting me go. So I understand he has two kids they're practically babies and he is worried for them because the wife stays home and doesn't make money to support them if he was to leave. I don't understand I want him and at the same time I don't. Good day, Please I need your advice. I am 27 years old and I'm dating this man of 53yrs, he's seperated from his wife up to two years now but not yet divorced, he proposed marriage to me and we've been dating for 8months now. My situation is a little different, she had her kids whom is not his propose this is her second marriage, he didn't want to say no to the kids so a week later there in the courthouse and 6 months later I met him, he says his marriage was the biggest mistake, it's been 7 months now ive met his family, friends and I've moved into a house for us and he is still with her and the kids at the home they share separated, I go to birthday party's for support and even been face to face with her, he come and go to my house that supposed to be ours. All kinds of excuses on Why he hasn't moved in yet, this is my goodbye letter to him. I'm missing out on my blessing dealing with a married Man I cry at night, I can't live this life anymore, need someone to talk To. I'm in love with a married man. We are about 20 years apart in age and we happen to be sexual. It's much more than just being sexual with him we spend a lot of time together. He has a daughter and a wife at home who he is yet not to be divorced but he doesn't wear his ring and they sleep in separate rooms so he says. It's breaking my heart because my mind tends to wander or what I'm doing with this man. I love him but the little things are starting to show that he's never going to leave. He invested in a big purchase of a car and just because of that in my head and I'm wanting a way out of this because there's no way they're going to leave each other. But it's so hard it to tells the one you love that you no longer can love him. I know it sounds silly that after all of this I come to conclusion just because of a big purchase but anyone's write mine they would understand what I'm thinking too. Ok i need your advise. I have know this guy since jr high school he always liked me but I never gave him the time of say because he had a girlfriend. Now after 30 yrs he still chase after me and he married his elementary school sweetheart. Now we seen each other about 4 months ago and hooked up and went to dinner. I asked about his situation and his words were he haven't been happy for awhile. He ask me is there light at the end of the tunnel for him I told him only if I knew he was leaving bam he pulled out the limited divorce paperwork he had just filed and of course I checked it out online to make sure. Now for 4 months we had started dating his wife was still living in the house his kids are grown. Now we would go out be in the public eye. And i have been around his family just his brothers. He would stay over on the weekends only. Now one weekend she found out about me and it's been down hill for us every since. I have even stopped all communication. Because I felt like he didn't want to really end his marriage even though he filed the papers. He said give him so time. He's not going anywhere. But we don't even talk anymore it's been 2 week since I heard his voice. Thanksgiving he text me but I didn't text back. I find myself thinking about him all the time. I met a man and fell in love with him. I am scared because when he talked about his ex I thought he was divorced? That wasn't the case and I know she lives in Germany when he is in Iowa. He says they have been apart seven years and started divorce proceedings. What do you think? I am a great mom of three teenagers trying to find a man to marry again down the road. I appreciate any help. Joann I just found out the man I've been sering for the past year has a partner. He tells me it's complicated and are only together for financial reasons as his job is tied to her family business. He keeps saying he loves me and wants us to be together. My emotions are all over the place but I do think I should tell him it's over. Although he says they are not intimate I torment myself with images of them together. Is he just giving me a spiel of lies. Actually my man isn't married yet but he's already living with his fiance with a child. And he's only 1yr older than me. When I met him I thought he's a single dad but I already fell in love with him when I've found out that he's already living with his fiance. At first I tried to walk away as much as I could. But this man exerted too much efforts and sweet promises. He promised me to leave his fiance, i just have to give him time. And I think my biggest mistake is that I chose to believe him behind all my doubts. Months had passed when things started to change. As much as I am demanding him to leave his fiance, he started to see negative things about me. He always make false accusations and telling me its the reason why he can't leave his fiance yet because he can't trust me. And I swear to God that I didn't really do those accusations. I became desperate, needy, clingy. I lost my self completely to this man and yet I still love him. It hurts me so bad. I can't really explain the pain. From being sorry and guilty feelings for his fiance, I became insecure and jealous. Then just last dec22, a day before his out of town vacation with his fiance , he completely broke up and dumped me. It was indeed the most painful day of my life. I tried not to contact him, but unfortunately he's the one who's chasing again.. Telling me that he misses me, he still loves me. And I know its sound stupid but we're still continuing this kind of relationship until now. I am happy whenever I'm with him, but when I'm not, I have this very lonely, unhappy, insecure, painful, jealous, confusion feelings inside me. I know I deserve better than this but I couldn't just walk away completely, because i really do love him. If there is only someone who I can talk with here, who can convince me to just let him go.. I think I really need help.. I wish i can move on fast and heal my wounded heart. I'm 31 and I was seeing this man officially for about 3 months. At the beginning I wasn't interested because I really didn't want to date anyone yet and I just happened to lose my father about the same time since I met him. I met him when I was taking my usual train to work. He told me he noticed me like couple months ago or so he claimed and always wanted to talk to me but was afraid which makes me felt kind of creepy at first. Somehow we met and ended talking like we were old friends. He started to text and later we texted each other pretty frequently till it started to get personal. He was persistent even though I showed no interest. After seeing him trying so hard, I gave him a chance. I learned he's 41. And later he told me he has a son and married but separated for 2 years and started to have divorce plan couple months ago. No matter I tried to push him away he always pull me back. He was very convincing and sweet. He tells me he loves me or crazy about me and I don't even believe that. Bit by bit I started to feel attracted to him and slowly started from like to love. I thought a lot and decided to look up anything online. He was a hard guy to find any info in the web because he is extremely private. It took me days to found out that he's actually 51 and whatever stories he told were mostly bullshits. I was a fool and naive to fall into his trap and now I don't even believe that he and his wife are actually separated or planning to divorce. Now thinking about it there were so many red flags. So I stopped answering his text. This was my first relationship and he took advantage of me when I was vulnerable. I rather cry and vent everything out than holding back. I want to hurry my life back it originally was but better. You can say I have mixed emotions about him. Hate because he dragged me into his life due to his selfishness. Sympathy because he can never have a real relationship which makes him look pathetic. The sad thing is that I still miss him and care about him but I know it'll get worse if I stayed any longer. And I do feel sorry for the wife who is stuck with that kind of man if you can even call that person a man. One thing I can say to anyone who are still in this kind of relationship. Get out as fast as you can and never look back. I know it will hurt like hell. There is no future to be with someone who is a coward because you will just suffer more consequences. Maybe this might not apply to all the guys. I'm in a situation where I am in love with a married man. Ok we are both married , but my marriage is over. I want out of my marriage I have been unhappy for over 20 years. The man that I am in love with is actually my ex boyfriend from 30 years ago. I broke up with him , not because I didn't love him but for other reasons. So, after all this time he contacted me just to say hi. And ever since then , it was like all the old feelings came back for him. He says he loves me too but his wife is very sick and he can't leave her. I know that this is true because they have posted pic and videos of her while at the hospital. She has had several strokes. He says that if and when his wife passes on that he will come and look for me so that we can spend our life together. In the mean time we still have sneak peeks of each other, but in private. What should I do?? Mr married man will never ever ever ever leave his wife!! He says he loves you right? Well if he's a cheater, he's also a liar. Have some dignity and find a single man, ladies! Otherwise, one day you might get married and your husband might just cheat on you with the side bitch from hell, a little thing called karma. Ps: he's never leaving! Save yourself the tears and cut it off now before he does. Cheating and lying go hand in hand. People who cheat and are not mature enough to end their current relationship before they start a new one are selfish, self centered a-holes. If he is cheating and lying to someone he loves or once loved, he will do it to you. If your the one he is cheating with than you should do some serious self analysis because your morals are out of whack. No decent person would have an affair with a married person and soon you'll find yourself all alone. Even if friends and family support what your doing, they are really talking behind your back. Going on this path will surely turn against you and one day you may find out your husband has been screwing another woman behind your back for years. Do the right thing. Not talking about you Jen, just cheaters in general. Im too young to be a mistress, unluckily i fell inlove to a married man with no kids. Im 22 and i first join the ship and met this guy on board. He was 14 years older than me. When i find out he was married i try to avoid him but i failed. Now we are together for 4 months and we act like normal gf and bf here on board maybe because no one knows except me that he is married.. He loves me but he need to have her also. This things makes me explode everytime i think of it i just couldnt figure out what to do coz i cant tell to anyone because i kmow they will judge me. In 3 months we both leave in the ship amd i dont know if we have the same ship on my next contraact but we cpuldnt make a link because he is married. Please do help me. Im too young to be a mistress, unluckily i fell inlove to a married man with no kids. Im 22 and i first join the ship and met this guy on board. He was 14 years older than me. When i find out he was married with no kids, i try to avoid him but i failed. Now we are together for 4 months he is my first boyfriend, we act like normal gf and bf here on board maybe because no one knows except me that he is married.. Although we act likr normal gf and bf here onboard maybe because no one knows he is married except me. Because of tgeir family and tradition. Now in 3 months we both finish our contract, we couldnt make a link and i dont know what to do, im gonna explode everytime i think of it but im so happy when im with him. It wpuld greatly help me for your advices. Thank you Why get married-then lose a spark? Doesnt make sense, seems marriage wasn't the answer if he decided he couldn't be without her ,but then cheat. If he's cheating-he has left. You can't be half way in-either all or nothing, isnt that marriage? I'm having a difficult time understanding why a man would cheat and risk losing it all... The point of marriage is to work at it, but if getting his underwear washed and playing daddy is all he's getting seems less of a marriage more of a chore. I'm not perfect or is anyone, but I don't blame the side chick, other woman, side piece jump off or any other condescending names out there, but obviously there are other issues and infidelity may just be one. Maybe men have problems owning up to their choices or standing by them-whatever it is the person he decides to creep with isn't the issue. Marriage and relationships have changed, and blaming someone else for another persons issues won't cut it. Well I have been dating this married man for 5 years,I am 68 and he is 70. We went together to years in high school. H e was drafted into the army and we lost contact untill 47 years later. As I mention he is married to a woman 10 years older than him. I sent him you article to read and he said that is not always true in all relationships right or wrong? He will never leave his wife for a side fling! I've been with my married man for a year. He keeps telling me he's going to leave his wife for me. First of all, why wld I want him to?! If he cheats with you he'll cheat on you! That's a fact Jack! Why wld he leave a 22 yr old marriage? But if he did I wld think he was even a bigger jerk then what I thought! Why am I with him? Everyone has ulterior motives. I started dating this Haitian man in July of 2014. Our relationship started off really great. It was around November of that year that I felt he was pulling away from me. Then when he took me away for Valentine's day in February 2016 something just didnt feel right I could have just stayed home. Then he hold me in March that the January of the year we met he had went home to Haiti to visit his family and got involved with a woman there. She asked him to help her get to the US and he agreed. She was approvded and would arrive in the US soon. He told me he didn't know exactly when she would be coming - a month or so maybe. Well low and behold one week before she was coming he told me. I continued to deal with him, broke it off, got back with him, broke if off, etc. Well, we got back together and then it has been back and forth. The last time was three weeks ago on a Sunday. That Monday I called and told him that need to see him. Well when I did I held back no punches in telling him that he expects this to go on forever.... He was selfish, self-centered and a cheater. This has last up until today when I answere his call at work. I did not unblock him on my cellphone. I really do miss him. Well, hell, tell us something we don't know. You are no genius. But sometimes we are with the one who is treating us better than the rest of you a-holes ever have, even if he's married... He wanted to use me for sex and swapping with other married couples. I started date guy in committed relationships 5 years ago, we have 2 year old daughter, who he adores. I know his wife and his parents. He treats me well and with respect, we are honest with each over about our feelings and positions in life. I don't expect from him to leave his wife, his family. I have pretty satisfying life myself. But we love each other, so why is it so bad? Why cant we just enjoy it? I know he might never be 100% mine, but at the same time no one can predict the future. Why everyone see it so negative? This affairs might help those married man to stay in family and raise kids. We all make choices. If you don't want to be the other woman when don't be, no one forced all of you into relationships anyway. I really think that MOST women going into any kind of relationship with a married man KNOW all the listed above. We know deep down he probably isn't going to leave her but yet we still hope. For some its what they need to feel better about their own lives... I'll be upfront, I think I'm in the beginning stages of dating a married man. We work together and I didn't notice him much at first because when I started working there I was in a relationship... I know it sounds shallow but it was the first time in over 4 years another man had interest in me AND made me feel physically attractive working on losing baby weight so it has helped me move forward from a painful break up.. NOTHING physical has happened but I feel like we could be progressing that way but I don't expect him to leave his wife... I never judge others relationships bc no one but those two people know what goes on. I have been in a relationship with a married man for five years. I am now 44 and staring to worry about my later years when I do not have the stebilaty of a marriage. He prevides for me in every way and supporting my children. I am really scared that if he sopped what would happen to me. He controls my life in every way and if I don't make him happy I really don't know what could happen to me Hi. I've been in this relationship for more than years. I love him and I really don't know why I still feel even he's married that he love me that much. There's no any sexual relationship happen to us up to now but lately he's asking me if we can do it just like the other couple.. I am still virgin and think that I can't make our rel to the next level yet but I love him. He always cry because of me and he always proving me that he really loves and understand me. He's older than me and yes, maybe that is one of the factors why I feel comfort when I am with him. Will it be oky if I give myself to him? Hi Jane, you sound so young sweetie. And reading your letter really broke my heart. I fell in love with a married man who fortunately lives in a far state. So we've never made love. But I can you that there is a thing called SOUL TIES. It's the ability to fall completely in love with someone you've never met. These ties are extremely hard to break. I tell you all this because here is my advise... Since you are a virgin you can not and should not delve into a sexual relationship with this man or any other man for that matter until he is your husband. Sounds old fashioned, but you will be doing more damage to yourself emotionally and spiritually if you do. He is older than you and is taking advantage of your youth and love for him. I know you don't want to hear this, but trust me, I'm older and wiser, so you should listen to the voice of experience. The words he says to you are only words he know you want and need to hear. The tears may or may not be real. HE WILL NOT LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR YOU. The sad truth is he loves his wife and wishes SHE would give him the attention you do. Not that he wants you, but he wants his wife to be like you. Please let him go... It will take some praying because you can not break soul ties on your own. Believe me, I've tried.... Slowly backing away from what I know will never be. Live your life baby girl. That special man will come and he will be worthy of your most prized possession... You will always be second... BUT YOU'RE WORTH BEING 1.... MUCH LOVE TO YOU. I am in the same situation right now, I am 32 , I have been very faithful to my husband for 9 years. I am married with one kid. I met a guy on chat and he was a divorcee, we talk for a month online until we decided to meet and have sex. I thought he is single , but he only told me he has a live in partner the day we meet and I was so disappointed. Right now, my heart is suffocating because I am so into him. We still talk online and he consoles me whenever I am sad but I am still hurting and I don't know how to explain the feeling. My husband has cheated on me several times and I feel that if I cheated on him like this I will be ok but the pain is just the same, I don't know what to do, I am so hurting right now, I love the new guy.. My mind is on haywire. Hi jane, I read your letter also.. Your married man will never , or ever leave his wife for you.... I do wish you the best.. We have 2 children together. I've known him for over 20yrs. You see how quickly that happened. In the beginning, I was the happiest person. I wouldn't have traded places with anyone or for anything. I'd test that theory with how quickly he leaves his wife to be with you. I've heard every excuse. Sticking around for as long as I have has worn me out emotionally. She was foolish and it breaks my heart. I am involved with a married man. At first he said he was separated and that he was going to get a divorce. I do not want to break up a marriage and I do not want him to leave his children. I fell in love with him, he's a charmer. It hurts so much, but I have to leave him. Please someone give me advice. I learned having a relationship with a married man is not healthy regardless how much you love each other.. Also eventually the relationship takes a course toward living separate lives.. I miss you so much I can't wait too see you. Time went on, I saw him less, but because of cellphones we spoke in the evening, and the dialogue the same on his part.. Came to the point we started to text more, and of course nothing good came out of it because when I called to discuss the text his part or mine he ingored my calls.. This behavio this repetitive behavior made me so emotional upset.. I had such unsettling emotions that surfaced within me that it caused me more harm than good.. So , I told him in a text how I felt and how ignoring my phone calls made me feel,because he was angry. I finally texted him since u like to ignore my phone calls because you didn't like facing the truth.. Hence I ended it, blocked him. I haven't called him.. I just let it go, left it up to God to carry me through and never regretted it.. I , learned that I had to take care of my feelings appropriately, and not let another married or verbally separated man convince me of his love. I don't feel sorry for him, because he never resolved his issues with his wife.. I believe he never resolved his issues with his wife because he ignored her when the going gets tough as he did with me. I finally feel released from guilt and hopelessness. So ladies, please stay away from married men.. I disagree with this. Love affairs can actually be a good thing for both. Why love have to have some goal or shape? You can't make yourself reject those feelings. Men get into affairs because they are disconnected with their wives and unhappy in marriage. However love affair can help him stay in that marriage and raise kids, instead of just be unhappy with his life, be resentful to his family, and slowly withdraw and leave. Woman involved should have her life too, you still can date other people, no one stops you. Why all the blame goes on married guy, you made your choice to be in that relationships too, he didn't force you. He wanted to use me for sex and swapping with other married couples. I started date guy in committed relationships 5 years ago, we have 2 year old daughter, who he adores. I know his wife and his parents. He treats me well and with respect, we are honest with each other about our feelings and positions in life. I have pretty satisfying life myself. But we love each other, so why is it so bad? Why cant we just enjoy it? I know he might never be 100% mine, but at the same time no one can predict the future. Why everyone see it so negative? This affairs actually helps my guy to stay in family and be more happy. We all make choices. SWEETHEART, I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU. YOU'VE CONVINCED YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE OK WITH THIS. WHEN THE TRUTH IS, YOU REALLY DO WANT HIM FOR YOURSELF.. THE TIMES HE CAN'T SPEND WITH YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER IS HEART WRENCHING TO YOU. BECAUSE HE HAS TO SPEND IT WITH HIS REAL FAMILY. SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER BE. YOU WILL ALWAYS COME SECOND. WHO REALLY WANTS TO LIVE LIKE THAT? YOU PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD FOR A MAN THAT WILL NEVER BE YOURS!!!! I KNOW BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE. EVEN THOUGH WE WERE VERY MUCH IN LOVE WE BOTH AGREED IT JUST WASN'T FAIR... TO ME, TO HIM, TO HIS WIFE AND HIS FAMILY. SO WE PARTED WAYS. IT'S VERY HARD BUT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. SOMETHING YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. ONE DAY YOU'LL LOOK UP AND FIND YOURSELF ALL ALONE... BECAUSE YOU SETTLED FOR BEING... YOU WILL REGRET IT IN THE END. I will add to my respond. I'm truly sorry that you had to lose such a big love due to circumstances of your relationships. Love is one the the most amazing feelings in the world and it can come to your life without asking for it or expecting it. Love doesn't have reason, love doesn't care about gender, age, race, or social position. It's just comes and swipes you of your feet. Like I said before I have no conditions to my love and no goal with my relationships and one day when it's over I will be very sad. But I also will be thankful for experience I had with it. I got married young to a guy I loved, guy who told me that I'm love of his life. Great Guy sexually abused me for 10 years and forced me to do abortion when I got pregnant with his child. I ended up with miscarriage at the 28 weeks pregnancy. We got divorced soon after. So tell me what is better to be woman 2, but feel loved, respected and caried for by wonderful person and have nothing but positive feelings with that knowing that he is happier with his family too. Or be woman 1 abused, disrespected and used by her husband. Each situation is unique. I just always look at the positive outcome. I wish you only the best and I hope you have wonderful and sweet person in your life who truly cares for you. I'm very sorry for bad experience you had. I understand your point. It's not an easy thing. So that's why I date other man too. However Love is something you can't control. You can't just turn off switch of how you feel. I have no final goal with this relationships. I'm sure it will be over one day. I accept reality, but instead of feeling bad about it I enjoy it until it will be time to let go. I have no regrets. At least I have a child with a guy who I love so much. I don't put conditions on my relationships. I will not be alone at the end. Life is about living it. If my ex-husband would met someone during our marriage, person who would like to do all the stuff he wanted, I would be happy for my ex-husband, I wouldn't hold him back. Everyone has freedom to make their own choices. You should love someone with no conditions to it. And btw him and his wife have an open relationships. One thing you can also do is to ask him, what was a true reasons why he started cheating on his wife?... With my AP for example, his wife has drug addiction history and on occasions gets prescription pain pills from different doctors. He is not happy with her, its sexless marriage, they decided to have open relationships. Me and him first was friends for almost a year, he confined in me with everything, and I did the same. I know his wife very well too. When I got divorced we started meeting up for sex, and discussed that nothing more should happen, however after few months we both fall in love very deeply, he wanted for me to have a child with him I agreed, I wanted to have baby anyway and I truly love him, that it was easy choice to make. I never asked him to leave his family. I date someone else too, because we both decided that it's fair. Me and my boyfriend also have an open relationships. I try to give advice to my AP on how to help make his marriage better, cause he says he still cares for his wife and would like to be sure that she is well and healthy if he comes to decision to leave. So everything happens for a reason. Just gotta stay with your good intentions. And I think you are doing a right thing. He should decide what he wants to do for himself. You are not responsible for his choice. If you are happy with the way your relationships goes and he is happy with you, why not just to keep it that way. It would be pretty selfish to ask him to leave his current family. I wouldn't ask for that either. Just make sure for yourself that you are really happy with your relationships. Because if there are even slight sign of disappointment, guilt or jealousy, give it a deep though and discuss it with your guy. Because you don't want to be hurt at the end. But I wish for all the things to be good for you!... Dear ladies, I just want to share, I have been keeping my distance from seeing my married man of eight years. Of course , truthfully it has been a struggle, but a welcomed one. I learned I kept myself in this relationship because I was afraid to face my personal fears of being alone and not being loved.. Since my separation emotionally from my married man.. I eventually find peace and content.. And that is so important in life. Because when you have that positive feeling it shows outwardly. Hence , I met a man , a very enjoyable, single man. And what a world of difference. It is so great and refreshing to be with someone who actually cares for me and can spend time with me.. This is a relationship. I do hope you ladies will eventually understand. It took time for me.. Married men cannot give what you need in a relationship. I, know and understand that I will get opposition on this post. Hi I enjoyed this article about dating a married man but I am dating one that has been married for 12 years but I am getting married next year we don't want to leave our significant other but we want to be together for ever right now he is pushing for us to get tattoos that will be a life long promise to us I love my fiancé with all my heart and soul but I love him also this is something we promise to take to the grave it's like living a double life but lately he been acting like all my attention belongs to him and I should really spend so much time with my fiancé and he feels some type of way is I sleep with my fiancé he starting to act like I'm a piece of property that he owns I'm just lost and don't know what to do they both comfort me in a different way Hi, I don't know if my post was received. I just started seeing a married man but the difference is that I don't want him to leave his wife of 27 years. So your probably saying I was hurt , yes so I don't think I'm looking for a true relationship. I dont have to commit to a married man. Please, please tell me your thoughts. I think its very nice of you that you don't expect for him to leave his wife, but on the other side its very early to think that, because feeling not fully developed yet. I just think if man choose to stray from his wife, its mean that he really not that happy in his marriage, he is looking for better emotional connection and intimacy. If he had that with his wife, he wouldn't getting into relationships with you. More likely they just grown apart over those 27 years. As far as leaving his wife, its really should be his choice, its his wife after all. Your choice would be is either to stay in that love triangle or leave, if your needs are not fully met. Thank you for your post. I know its so wrong, there Is actually more to the story. We've reconnected here were we both relocated to. Last wammi he dated my sister 30 yrs ago, I was a kid back then. Please help me figure this out.