Many wanted to know, did I really mean no physical intimacy? What about showing affection? How can you say definitively that other things are wrong? In this day and age, how far is really too far? I understand most physical stuff is wrong, but what about just kissing? Let me lay out what I view to be applicable biblical principles and passages on this topic. In my view, this includes premarital kissing. As the questions above indicate, however, many single Christians have questions about whether premarital physical activity at some level beyond kissing is OK. Let me offer a caveat or two at the outset. I am obviously not saying that hugs and kisses of affection or greeting to relatives and the like are out of bounds. Another important point has to do with culture. In some cultures, kisses of greeting — between members of the same sex or of the opposite sex — as well as hand-holding and other forms of physical expression during normal, non-romantic social intercourse, are more common. The argument becomes clearer when we look at some of what the Bible has to say about 1 sex, 2 our relationships with other believers and 3 sexual immorality itself. On the contrary, in the proper context, it is a kind and good gift of God. God instituted sex within marriage as part of His design of the family. In Song of Songs, God has given us a holy and beautiful picture of a marital sexual relationship, and everyone seems to be having an excellent time. The orthodox interpretation of the book suggests both that an actual sexual relationship is part of what the narrative relays and a context at the time of the sexual part of the relationship of marriage. Brothers and Sisters in Christ So marriage is a unique relationship, and the good gift of sex is not only allowed but commanded within that relationship. Still, the overwhelming majority of believers will only share that relationship with one person in their entire lives. How are we to relate to everyone else especially believers , and how does that question inform the topic of premarital sexual activity? The simple answer is that every believer to whom I am not married is my brother or sister in Christ, and I am to act accordingly. Just a few examples: , especially vv. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Love does no harm to its neighbor. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity emphasis mine. We should note this analogy with care. Also, look at that phrase about how younger women should be treated — with absolute purity. As a lawyer, I almost never see absolute statements. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to lead a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his holy spirit. Of course I want to care for their spiritual good. I just think I can show genuine affection short of intercourse with someone I clearly care about and still obey those passages. Have you ever met that mark? Think about the times you have engaged in any type of romantically oriented physical activity with someone not your spouse. It might have been last night or last week or last year or back in high school or college. Were you honest with the person about making a commitment to him or her before the Lord, or did you defraud or deceive that person in some way? Whatever you did, as you now think about it, does it inspire a comfortable peace or an uncomfortable shudder to remember that Father, Son and Holy Spirit observed it all? Do you believe God was glorified or grieved by what He saw? I have never heard any believer, single or married, defend their extramarital physical relationships from a position of looking back on them. Keep in mind that the idea of holy, God-glorifying sexuality is by no means an impossible standard once you figure marriage into the equation. While no person stops being a fallible, broken sinner just because he or she gets married, the context of marriage makes it possible — even normal and likely, in the case of two walking Christians — to answer well the questions I just posed. Sex within a godly marriage is holy and honorable before God , ,. It is part of the process of building one another up spiritually in marriage and should be done to that end. It is also meant, among other things, for sexual pleasure. And marriage — including the sexual relationship within it — reflects the covenant and the joyful, loving, intimate relationship between the church and her Savior. It meets the mark. A brief tour of Christian blogs and bookstores will provide several different answers to the question, attempting to compose lines and boundaries somewhere on the sexual continuum behind which singles must stay. DO NOT FEED OR APPROACH ALLIGATORS. IF YOU ENCOUNTER AN ALLIGATOR, FLEE IMMEDIATELY. In addition to 1 Corinthians 6, other passages explicitly tell us that sexual immorality is not something to flirt with. If you want to think through this idea well, take your concordance and look at what the Bible has to say collectively about sexual sin of all types. That leaves little room for intentional flirtation with any sin, sexual or otherwise. To borrow and embellish an analogy from , sexual activity is like a down-hill on-ramp to a highway. This truth bears itself out not only in our emotions, desires and common sense, but literally in our physical bodies. In the right context, those desires are good and right and God-glorifying. In any context, they are some of the strongest desires known to human kind. Kissing will often make you want to do more than kiss. It will likely make you want to indulge in sin. That desire will be strong enough in both of you without blatantly tempting yourself by trying to put just one foot on the on-ramp. Let me close by reminding us all that while God hates sin, and while sexual sin — like all sin — is destructive to us and grieving to God, there is hope and forgiveness in Jesus Christ. What was red as crimson has become white as snow. Copyright 2007 Scott Croft. Scott Croft served for several years as chairman of the elders at Capitol Hill Baptist Church in Washington, D. Scott now lives in the Louisville, Ky.