Young Woman: So, you must be Lucy's friend. The one who made the tape. Lucy: I think he's more than my friend. You're my boyfriend, right? Stacy: So every day you help her to realize what happened and you wait patiently for her to be okay with it... You don't even open the fricking car door for me anymore. Henry: Appreciate your time. Not everybody would have stopped like you. I can't believe you fell for that! I was just joking around. Lucy: I can't believe you fell for THAT! Lucy: Yeah, that's right. Henry: You got him. Lucy: Are you okay? Lucy: Okay, I'll be right back. Henry: No, no, no. I think he's had enough. Henry: You got him! Lucy: Not good enough. Henry: He learned his lesson! Henry: Okay, this is her. Start beating me up. Make it look good. Ula: Give me your wallet. Okay, haole, what do you think? You can come to this island, eat our pineapple. Ula: Try to bang our women. Making my sister clean your hotel room. What does that have to do with this? Lucy: Did Alicia marry that guy? Henry: Doug, did you win the Mr. Doug: I didn't know there wath gonna be a urine tethst. Sorry to interrupt, but I notice we were both eating alone and I thought perhaps I could sit with you, maybe build a syrup Jacuzzi for your waffle house? Lucy: Oh, that would be nice, but I have a boyfriend. Henry: You're making up a boyfriend so you can get rid of me? Henry: What's his name then? Henry: Is his last name, Starr? Henry: The Beach Boys? How nice of that man to give me a CD that will remind me of all the wonderful times I shared with his daughter. It's a kind of hinge. Lucy: Now, why didn't I think of that? Henry: You're too close to the object. Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes you need an outsider's perspective. Henry: Fresh eye never hurts. Nice to meet you. Lucy: Nice to meet you. Keats: Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds. Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds. Ten Second Tom: Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Keats: And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to our most distinguished clinical subject: Tom Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom. Ten Second Tom: Hi. Oh, those are cool flip flops. Where did you get them? Doug: You like those? I was over on the North Shore the other day... Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom. Ten Second Tom: Hi. Henry: Let me ask you something, Alexa. If you made a promise to a girl's dad that you would not see her anymore... Alexa: But then again, there are always ways around such things. If I promised a woman's father I would not see her... I would simply shut my eyes, while she serviced my manhood. And a very gross way. Henry: What would you say if I told you that notebook you read every day used to have a lot of stuff about me in it? Lucy: I would say that that makes a lot of sense. Henry: You erased me from your memories because you thought you were holding me back from having a full and happy life. But you made a mistake. Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life. You're the girl of my dreams... It's nice to meet you. Henry: Lucy, it's nice to meet you too. What is going on? I was kidding around with you! Is she crazy or something? Sue: Lucy is a very special person. Very different from other people. Sue: About a year ago, Lucy was in a terrible car accident. She and her father went up North Shore to get a pineapple. Her Father broke some ribs, but Lucy suffered a serious head injury. She lost her short term memory. Henry: So she can't remember anything? Sue: No, no, no. She has all of her long term memory. That's a different part of the brain. Her whole life, up to the night before the accident, she remembers. She just can't retain any new information. It's like her slate gets wiped clean every night while she sleeps. Henry: Hold on, here. This sounds like something I would tell a psycho girl so she would stop calling me. Am I the psycho girl? Sue: I wish I was making this up! She has no memory that she ever met you. Henry: What about the pineapple thing? Sue: She says that every day, because each morning she wakes up thinking it's October thirteenth of last year. She comes here for breakfast because that's what she did on Sundays, and October thirteenth was a Sunday. She has no idea it's more than a year later. Henry: She reads the newspaper though. Sue: It's a special paper her Father puts on their porch every night. It's from the day of her accident. He got hundreds of them printed up. Lucy does the same thing everyday. Ula's Kid: Hey, Dad. Ula: Not now, Keanu Mokokokakau. Ula's Kid: But your stitches are bleeding. You think you can stitch me up tonight after I get back from surfing? Henry: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Caddy: I wouldn't surf with a bleeding wound like that. You might attract a shark or something. Ula: What's wrong with that, cuz? Sharks are naturally peaceful. Caddy: Is that right? How'd you get that nasty cut anyway? Ula: A shark bit me. Go smoke another one, bro! Henry: Jocko, this is Lucy. Lucy, this is Jocko. Nice to meet you. He is so smart. Henry: Check this out. Jocko, what does the teapot do when the water's ready? Lucy: Hey, can I ask him a question? Lucy: Jocko, do you think that Henry and I are ready to take our relationship to the next level? You sure about that? And do you think that I should bring him into the other room and take advantage of him? I saw that hand gesture. And I'm glad you did it. Henry: Actually I'm going on a trip in a little while to study undersea Pacific walrus behaviors. Doug: Thounds kind of fruity. Doug: How long'th it going to take? Doug: I gueth you won't mith days like thith. Henry: Well, maybe days like this don't have to be so bad. Marlin: What are you trying to say? Henry: Well, when you guys tell her, she's not just finding out about the accident. She's finding out that her life is basically a setup. I think that's what freaks her out the most. Doug: Oh, you're an exthpert now? Here's some pictures of your broken head. You gonna give it to him? Doug: No, Daddy, I thought you wath gonna do it. Henry: Nobody's gotta break my head, guys. I'm gonna split anyways. Keep 'em dry there Doug. Waffleonians can come in and out now. Lucy: Oh, are you from a country where it's okay to stick your fingers all over someone else's food? Henry: Uh, no, I'm from this country. Henry: Were you gonna eat that? Henry: I'll see ya around. Henry: I can't read. Lucy: Oh, shut up. Henry: No, no, no, this is what happened. Lucy: Mahalo for the ego boost. I told her you the kahuna she wanna have fun on this island. You want her number? Henry: You pimping tourists for me again, Ula? I live vicariously through you, remember? Now, come on give her the Waikikiki sneaky behind the cheeky. And Doug's muscles aren't pharmaceutically enhanced. Doug: What are you talking about? I use a herb supplement that can be purchased at any health food store. Check out these glutes. You're gonna make me throw up on the cake. Henry: Okay, well, I had a great time. Lucy: Would you like to have breakfast again tomorrow morning, same time? Because I teach art class at ten. Henry: I wish I could make it, but, yes, I will be there. Lucy: One for the road. Henry: Got you good. Henry: See you tomorrow. Lucy: Oh, my goodness. I had a bee on me. Henry: It was a big one. Henry: I need you to get me two fish from the barrel. Henry: Just hang in there. Henry: It's gonna be alright. That's a little warm. Go to the bottom of the barrel please. Alexa: He's not responding! Henry: I know, Alexa! Sorry I smacked you with that. You needed the fish-slap to calm down. Henry: Are you calm? Henry: Actually I'm not drunk at all, Noreen, and neither are you, because there's no alcohol in these drinks. Sadly, I've used this technique many times. It helps lovely tourists such as yourself loosen up without impairing your ability to stay awake all night and have guilt free vigorous sex with me. Ula: You meet her, hang out, flirt, no commitment, nobody gets hurt. Henry: She's got brain damage, you psycho. Ula: Okay, I'll give you that one. But I think it'd be healthy for you. You haven't allowed yourself to connect with a girl for many years. Henry: I appreciate your interest Ula, but leave me alone. Ula: Hey, you'd be doing exactly what her father does: Giving her a wonderful day. Then when it's time for you to go on your big boat trip, poof, you just leave. She'll never even know you're gone. Could you demonstrate a good poof for me. Ula: Quit busting my coconuts for five seconds. Would you stop poofing on that joint and do some work! Let's get this sucker ready. Then we're gonna take her out for a spin. Doug: Is this the guy? Roth, I have one simple request. Stay away from my daughter. I just, I think I hurt her feelings and I don't want it to end like that. Doug: Yeah, well, it's gonna end like this! Doug: I'm gonna kill you. You're a dead man. Marlin: Then maybe you need to do a little bit more butt flexes. Doug: Cheap shot, Dad. Sorry for the delay. Should be a few minutes. Henry: Where are you coming form? Henry: How was it? Lucy: I had waffles. Henry: I like making little houses out of waffles. Henry: That's my thing. Henry: Hi, I'm Henry. Keats: Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay. She's watching the tape as we speak. How's my temporal lobe looking there, Doc? You're not gonna suffer any short term memory loss. But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you? Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that! Keats: Note the intense overreaciton. That's the 'roids talking. Alexa: I am grouchy due to lack of recent physical intimacy. Alexa: Shut up, because here comes one-time only opportunity. What I will do now is go into your office and become naked. I may not be as limber as I once was...