by Louise C on 2005 Oct 26 - 05:12 | reply to this comment

I am on the fence...

I'm on the fence in the discussion of referring to oneself as being owned, property, or a slave. I can empathize with the feelings expressed on both sides.

 

I do not view myself as a "slave," and generally find other words such as "submissive" or "obedient" more pleasing. I even prefer "servant" to "slave." It is also interesting to bear in mind that in my particular relationship, these words are more often than not used by me -- in reference to myself. My partner has used them too, but not nearly as often as I. He has never used the word slave except for once during sex; and it was after I'd used it myself.

 

It was then that I realized how negatively that word can affect me. Afterward, I just felt "wrong" somehow. I then explained to him how ridiculous I felt for using that word and that it doesn't properly describe what's going on between us. I told him that it seemed to cheapen what we have. He agreed. Since then, I may have used the word once or twice in moments of passion. But I quickly forgave myself; and it has not become something manifest in our life outside the bedroom.