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121SayWhaat October 9, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Desiderius,

I apologize, I wasn’t trying to tear you down and make you look like a player. I just didn’t want to quote a giant chunk of text and so I selected the part of it that was relevant to what I wanted to respond to, without changing its meaning.

Here is your entire comment:

Megaman,

“The girls I really liked tended to already have boyfriends (isn’t that always the case)”

I thought that too. Google “I have a boyfriend”. When a girl says that, it can mean almost anything. Some just blurt it out without thinking whenever they get nervous or feel lower value than the guy. Women are very attracted to men with options (this is also known as social proof) so she’s trying to DHV (display higher value) by letting you know about her options (other men).

Imagine she’s some nerd talking about his girlfriend in Canada. Often times, its no more than that, and she says it for similar reasons.

Some of course actually do have boyfriends or are trying to nicely let you know they are not interested or that you have come on too strong. As in most else with women, reading IOI’s (indicators of interest) will tell you a lot more of what it going on than what they actually say.

As for women reading this, if you’re over twenty-five and don’t have a ring (and you want to start a family at any point in your life) there is no such thing as a boyfriend. You’re too old for boys.

I was responding to your second paragraph, and I would say that my answer still holds, except now I have to respond to Badger.

Badger,

You do realize that every time you say that when it’s not true, you create a harsher environment for monogamy? Guys writ large are clueing in to the fact that women drop this line when they are single, when they want the guy to work harder, or when they have a boyfriend but are open to another offer. For single women to appropriate IHAB as a flirt-buster hurts the value of actually having a boyfriend, subjecting legitimately non-single women to advances they shouldn’t need to fend off because single girls can’t come up with something better to disqualify themselves with.